Joke 2

Hell Hath No Fury!


She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted
on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain
rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first
few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything;
cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead
rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung
everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house.
The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find
a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local
realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the
saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old
home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in
exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth - but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers
delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home... including
the curtain rods.