A journey into the unknown.

 Hello in blogland, a land where I once used to live, I've moved to the inner city slum known as facebook along with many other ex residents of blogland, be all that as it may... some of you might be aware that for the last 20 some years I have been sending my Christmas greeting to my friends in the form of a poem, I have broken with tradition this year and decided to let any stalwart readers who might still exist also share in my wondrous journey through 2013.. Its long and boring so only venture further if you are made of stalwart stuff.

Page 1

Hey its getting to be a lot like Christmas... Poem time

 Roses are red

Violets are blue
If I write a poem
I'll send it to you.

 Nah

Twas the night before Christmas

As I toiled at the computer
But no the juices weren't flowing
For a poem this year I'll need a tutor.

 Nah

 As Christmas time draws near

I face my annual fear
My mind is blank as slime
This year ain't gonna rhyme.

 Nah... getting worse

 This year you get a letter, I'm already feeling better... stop it.

 Well friends what a year its been for this little black duck, I took a road trip to Victoria in January where I did all my normal visits with Friends and Family, both Marcus and Vicki are now living in the Geelong area now so, as will be explained later in this letter, there is some pressure being applied for me to once again take out residency status in Victoria.

As usual I had a great time during all of my visiting, the only blot on the copybook being my sister Merle's health, she had a couple of weeks in hospital then another 2 weeks in respite care which did her the world of good but then inevitably they sent her home again.

She has been coping reasonably but about 2 weeks ago she had a return trip to hospital and frankly I, and her family, hope she will go into a care situation from there as she has had some problems over the last few months, very stubborn and wants to finish her time in her own house, not the best for her family who are constantly on edge and wondering how she is going.

Page 2

 Enough of that lets get back to me, me, me, I learned that when you are sick and feeling down the whole world revolves around you (in your mind that is) having always enjoyed good health this was one of the many lessons I was to learn during the year, along with a whole new language with words I had never heard before, much less used, words like Colonoscopy, stoma's, chemotherapy, radiation, cat-scans and a host of others that either described what was going to happen to me. or the person who was to perform it, pretty scary stuff at times, because we live in the kind of world we do health providers are obliged to tell you of all the possible pit falls in what they are proposing to do to you usually ending with "and of course you might die", this got to be one of the highlights of my sessions with them.

Lets go back a bit, I arrived home from Victoria at the end of January and immediately slipped back into my reclusive pattern of life, that is until the  15th, 16th and 17th of February, over this period I had been becoming more and more uncomfortable with  as I first thought a severe case of constipation.

On the afternoon of Sunday 17th Feb I took myself up to the Emergency department of the Gympie Hospital where they fairly quickly established that there was a bowel blockage, the method of reaching this conclusion included some poking and prodding into areas that had up until now been private and un-prodded, the verdict was a transfer to Nambour Hospital for surgery.

The next few hours saw me with two more new experiences, my first ride in an Ambulance and my first admission into a hospital as a patient, my Sunday night was the first of a few that I would very much like to forget, because I was to have an emergency stomach operation they obviously gave me some sort of Super Laxative that, perhaps aided by the prodding, saw me up and making a dash for the toilet 10 times that night, I am ashamed to say half of these dashes were not quite swift enough, suffice to say a poor little nurse had several bed changes and clean ups to do, when I apologized for this she said "don't worry its all part of my job" I suggested that perhaps she had better look for another job.

Next day saw me into the operating theatre, another first, where they re-arranged my intestine to a stoma on my left side at about navel height.

Its at this point where the only real problem with my whole treatment comes  in, because this was an emergency operation I can only guess that I was given some pretty potent anesthetics, suffice to say I had some fairly nasty side effects which first of all had them re-sedate me and put

Page 3

me into ICU, the second bad experience was that for the next three nights I had
dreadful nightmares, I don't normally dream at all  and these were lulus.

By the time I was put into a ward Vicki and Marcus had arrived from Victoria and were able to go to the Gympie Hospital and rescue my car which had been sitting out the front for 3 days and nights... all good thankfully.

I spent 12 days in Hospital where they did all sorts of tests which ended with me being told I had bowel "cancer" again pretty scary stuff, because the 4inch wound in my abdomen had become infected I was fitted with a wound vacuum pump which aids the wound healing process, this little devil stayed with me for almost a month.

Vicki spent another couple of weeks with me before Alan arrived from Perth to give her a break for a week then she returned and was involved with the start of Chemo/Radiation for a 28 day course spread over about 40 days with no treatments on weekends and Easter Vicki was able to go home again while my good mate Warren came up to baby sit me before Bruce arrived from Perth for his turn at looking after Dad.

Vicki was back on deck again when Bruce left, this time for about 2 weeks then she was finally able to go back to living her own life for a while, during all this time with the 4 kids and Warren looking after me there were literally dozens of medical appointments as well as the housework, cooking etc. so just where I would have been without them all I don't know, there is a debt there that I will never be able to repay though and it ain't over yet.

Major surgery scheduled for June 13th Marcus was the first carer for 2 weeks then Alan for 1 week Warren again for a few days until the ever reliable Vicki returned for another couple of weeks.

During all of this time I managed to avoid all the nasty side affects of Chemo/Radiation and remained virtually pain free for the whole time, I did loose my appetite and consequently lost about 20 Kgs... no real bad thing!! but compared with what some people go through it was  a walk in the park.

The one remaining thing is the reversal of my stoma so that I can finally be rid of the colostomy bag and go back to sitting on a toilet seat again... who knew you could ever miss that???

I said earlier that I would return to the me, me, me situation, I have been surprised and more than a little ashamed of just what a self centered year I have had, people experienced in this sort of situation say its no

Page 4

 surprise when your life suffers a major upheaval that you tend to withdraw into yourself, in my case there was never any "Why Me" attitude and as I said I pretty much just went for my walk in the park.

The other thing that I said I would return to is the gentle pressure being applied to have me return to Victoria to live, having put all 4 of my kids through such a year I recognize the fact that it would be easier should this sort of situation ever arise again it wouldn't create the same problems if I was living where at least two of  them are, the jury is still out on that one.

I hope this hasn't been too boring or graphic but you can probably see why it couldn't come in the form of a poem.

To insert a touch of humor and lighten this up a bit, there was a male nurse on night duty who wore an L.E.D. headlight on his tours of the ward, in my mind he was Florence Nightingales brother Frank, you know the lady/guy with the lamp, I was disappointed to learn that his name was Rexie, the other thing that tickled my fancy was when Warren told his sister Denise that I was thinking about moving to Victoria she became indignant and said "he can't do that, he's your best mate, tell him he can't go... no bugger it let me know when he's coming down next and I'll tell him", I hardly know Denise!!!

Finally let me finish of with my eternal thanks to my four wonderful children, my mate Warren,  a special thank you to the daughter of two of my lifelong friends Neil and Joan, thanks Susan for helping out with transport for those who needed help, to my neighbors Diane and Brian for their support, to all of my friends who have helped keep my spirits up when they were sagging a little, to my friends from the internet world who have given their prayers and support I am forever in debt to all of you.

 I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a prosperous New Year, my love to you all.

 Peter,

Nearly Christmas.

G'Day to anyone who has persevered with my blog while I have been absent, I felt a need to come by at least this one time (who knows what the future will bring?) and with the approach of Christmas what better chance, we will not go into the "Christmas" issue and whether it offends some people by celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, suffice to say if this is the case Please stop reading NOW.
I have always been an advocate for the home cooked traditional fare at Christmas, but that was in the time that I wasn't the one doing the home cooking, not that I mind cooking... I'm just not very good at it and

don't have the patience for the finishing touches that can make the meal look so good.
I told you all that so that I can explain the store bought items in the photos, we start with a 700 gram "Coles" Christmas Pudding which they describe as 'A moist pudding bursting with 40% fruit and a dash of brandy' I can only agree with this description, and for the bargain price of $4.80 for 5 generous servings, topped with "Pauls" Brandy Custard at $4.20, a dessert fit for a king.

To wash this down a white sweet wine, Riccadonna Asti, which is an Italian wine they describe as 'sweet smooth and soft' again a description I would have to agree with, I go a little further and describe it as nectar of the gods, there are lots of excellent Australian wines that I often choose before Riccadonna but for that special occasion that's where I go , at $14.00 a bottle its good value too.
 I'm going to finish this post with my very best wishes to all the people I class as my friends, I hope your Christmas and the New Year are filled with joy, happiness and good health.

From your Aussie friend, Peter.

Christmas Day.

Christmas Day has been spent at Bridgetown (which some of the kids
have renamed fridgetown as it gets pretty cold here in winter) At the
home of my ex Jacqui, and her husband Walter.

This is a small "A Frame House" with a large dormitory style bedroom
upstairs, it is accomadating 17 overnight so its not too small!!!!

Please click on photos to enbiggen.

Jacqui is a collector of many things and Teddy Bears are her main passion, so they
are everywhere and I mean everywhere you look.

She has a walk in pantry that is the envy of most ladies who see it.

Access is via a flyscreened door from the kitchen, so most things are visible
through the door.

There is a very user friendly back verandah/porch ideal for meals and games.

This house is a collectors dream as it is jammed full of all sorts of dolls, teddy's and
paraphenalia to delight anyone with similar interests.

There is a large collection of dolls houses and the like, many of which are furnished
and lit up at night.

An example is this quite elaborately furnished house, which opens up to display the
funishings and decor.

Celebrating Christmas

Some photographic evidence that we are having a fun Christmas here
in WA.
Please click photos to enbiggen them.

How else would you start the day but with some instructional use of the
dreaded iron! Paula insisted that Bruce take a "hands on" role!!!

I very nearly took exception to being presented with this poster!!!!
If you can't read the smaller print at the bottom, it says;

A hazardous substance is stored nearby. It's the excess fat packed
around your middle.
Fat that increases your risk of heart disease and other serious illnesses,
such as diabetes. Good reason to start a waist disposal program today.


For those of you who thought how nice it was that my ex wife and I got along
so well!!!!

The parking lot at the front of Alan and Lyn's house, showing 7 of the 8 cars there.

Some very pretty curtain material used tastefully here.

Ooops, one of Jenna's ex friends described her lovely new dress by saying,
"Looks like curtain material to me" end quote AND friendship.

My favourite daughter is standing up to the strain pretty well, and is really
enjoying the "Family Fun."

Luke's motor bike provided a bit of fun, here Jenna, who just refuses to be left out
of anything provided the best shot of the rear end... be nice, I meant of the bike!!!
note number plate please.

There was a shaded area outside for conversation, and later on some board games.

The table settings were beautiful as was the meal that shortly hereafter graced them,
I just didn't have the heart to take the "after" shot, when their pristine appearance
had been given the treatment.

This was our gracious host, Number 1 son Alan at the end of a great day!!!

Christmas in October.

Note; we don't celebrate either Halloween or Thanksgiving in Australia
So it's just a build up to a Christmas crescendo from now to Christmas.

It's almost two and a half months until Christmas Guys!!!

Big W is a variety store probably not unlike Wal Mart, it is a part of the
Australian food giant "Woolworths".

I believe this Christmas display was put up on the weekend of Oct. 13/14,
at this stage the supermarkets do not have Christmas displays up, which
is a little surprising as they don't normally like to be beaten to the punch.

As Christmas draws a little nearer these small displays will be dwarfed by the
ones that follow, our whole shopping centres will become giant playgrounds for
Santa and his elves and reindeer,
With so much Ho, Ho, Hoing going on that one tires quickly of the commercial
side of Christmas.

Then a wonderous thing happens... between Christmas and New Year all the
sales of Christmas Cards and Decorations are held... and as if by magic on
Jan. 2.... it is all replaced by EASTER promotions.
There are Easter eggs, cards, decorations and my favourites, Hot Cross Buns
in wild profusion until magically on March 26, which is the Wed. after Easter
2008, they too will all disappear.... just a mere 5 months to go!!!!!!


It seems ages since I posted a joke, here's one I liked.

Ole Blue.

A young farm lad from North Iowa goes off to college, but about 1/3 of
the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the
money his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe
the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually
have a program here at Iowa State that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that
program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into
the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About 2/3 way
through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, D ad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't
believe this - they've had such good results with this program that
they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him
in that program?"

Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.
The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find
out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can’t wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just
before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in
the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then
he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with
that little redhead who lives in town?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to
your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.......)

Speaks for itself (rudely)

MERRY CHRISTMAS Part 2

THE SANTA SIDE OF CHRISTMAS


We have this image of Santa always being a nice guy, can't help wondering if it's right.

Does Santa
sometimes kick
over the traces?

Would Santa ever
do this?

Would this action
keep the Moms
from bringing their
kids to see Santa?

And what about us, are we always
as good as we should be?

Does Santa really know when we've
been good or bad? and if so could
you imagine this reaction?

It's no use blaming the dog if you
get up on Christmas morning and
find a suspicious substance in the
fireplace.

Next year you had better mend
your ways!

I have "borrowed this from Lucy she posted it way back in November
and as she is now lounging around at Willow Tree RV Park I'm sure
she either won't know or won't care about me lifting it.

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help
from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) -
I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
[Spy Magazine no longer exists. So how did versions of this story wind
up on the Internet? Actually, this story first originated by an email
from Rod Morgan , Systems and Integration Office IRM/OPS/SIO ,
U. S. Department of State , who sent an email out in 1987.
Though computers at the Department of Stare were networked, they
were not yet connected to the Internet. The U.S. Navy, on the other
hand. was connected to the internet. As it turned out, one of Rod’s
friends had a son in the Navy who liked the story. So out into the
internet the story went! From there, this tale has grown almost as
fast as the net! Thanks to Rod Morgan for getting this out to the world!]

<><><><><><> (I know you'll like these <>Merle.)

There is only one species of reindeer and it definitely can NOT fly!
BUT there are perhaps several hundred thousand species of flying
organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and microorganisms, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying
reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Shinto, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish , Animist, and atheist children, not to mention the bah-humbug
non-Santa believers. That reduces his workload to 15% of the total...
378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
(census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes.
(One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.)

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with good children…
well good enough... Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out
of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left,
get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the
next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly
distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but
for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking
about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not
counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31
hours, plus feeding and etc. Whew!

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second,
3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves
at a pokey 27.4 miles per second... a conventional reindeer can run,
tops, 15 miles per hour.

Now consider the huge load in the sleigh! Assuming that each child
gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (almost 1 kg or
2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa,
who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, non-flying reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
Even granting that “flying reindeer” (see point #1) could pull TEN
TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not
even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.
Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth. (That's the ship BTW not the Queen of England.)

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous
air resistance, this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second.

Each, In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously,
exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic
booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within
4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected
to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity.
A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned
to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
he’s dead now. Any takers for the job?

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male
and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male
reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till
after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's
reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph
to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be
able to drag a fatman in a red velvet suit all
around the world in one night and not get lost.

Wrapping Presents with a Cat in the House.

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut
door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

3a. Please delete step 3,

This will eliminate steps; 5, 8, 10, 13, 18, 22, 24, 28, 31, 38, 39, 40.

But the story will not be anywhere nearly as funny... Your call…

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc. . .

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable
wrapping strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the
present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't
reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent
sticky tape.

20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky
tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
enthusiastic ribbon chase.

25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.

26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk
of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the
right size for sheet of paper.

27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.

30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper
and materials.

31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear
cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area
of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this
last year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to
make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with
sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on
completing a difficult job.

38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag

MERRY

CHRISTMAS

ANYWAY.

It's all make believe, isn't it?

MERRY CHRISTMAS Part 1

Especially for the male readers of this blog, may you find one of
these under your tree this year (and still have the strength to
enjoy it)

This is a Holtieshouse Christmas wish for all my friends.

Each year, for about 20 years now, I have bombarded my
friends and family with a Christmas poem, these have been
written with much more enthusiasm than talent I must say,
but as they have been tolerated by said friends and family
I thought why should my cyber friends escape, I really feel
for those of you who get both issues.... SUFFER

Christmas in cyberspace 2006.

.................. As Christmas now draws nearer
Ann............. Once more for Christmas time
Ava............. I try to crystallize my thoughts
Boo............. And try to make them rhyme.

LBB............. This poem is for my buddies
Carolyn........ Who live in cyberspace
Christina...... I feel I know you all so well
Cliff............. Though we’ve not met face to face.

Davo............. We share the things that happen
Doug............. Through the year, both bad and good
John Earle...... Sometimes I feel we’re closer
Della.............. Than the folks in our neighborhood.

Gary............. This year I can’t include in rhyme
Geezer Music.. My friends who come to call
Jack.............. ‘Cos my blog roll’s more than seventy
Jacqui........... So at the side I’ll name y’all.

Jamie............ ‘Cos each of you are special
Jan & Cazz..... You all brighten up my day
Jenna............ No matter what we’re sharing
Jerry............. Be it laughter or dismay.

Jim................ For I feel your joy and sorrow
Joanne.......... As though they were my own
Joy............... It’s often said by others too
Judy............. So I know I’m not alone.

Jules............. Some changes happen each year
June............. As some folk just quit slogging
Karen........... We have to change our blog rolls
Katherine...... Take off those who have stopped blogging.

Kelvin............ It saddens us to lose them
Ken............... But of course we understand
Latigo............ That life is full of other things
Laurie............ The blog got bigger than we’d planned.

Lee................ And so my friends to you I wish
Lois............... From deep within my soul
Lucy.............. The very best of seasons greeting
Lucy TLP......... Merry Christmas one and all.

These folk are just as important, they just wouldn’t fit at the side.

Marcus, Margaret, Maria, Marti, Meow, Merle, Mike, Miss C.
Monty, Nancy Drew, Norvona, Old Hoss, Poopie, Rachel,
Raggedy, Robyn, Sandy, Sharon, Steve G, Sudiegirl,
Suzz, Theresa, Trucker Bob, Val, Vickie, Waiter, Walker,
Wazza, William, Zac, Zinnia

There are a few slackers in this list at the moment
(you know who you are)
hope that doesn’t mean you will drop down to the MIA list.


Missing in action; If you happen to read this Dave, Tom, FTS, Ivy, John,
I hope you have a great Christmas and come visit sometime.

Big Dave, Bornfool, FTS, Ivy, Muzik Dude

Blondes at Christmas.


There were two blondes who
went deep into the frozen
woods searching for a
Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero
temperatures and a few
close calls with wild animals,
one blonde turned to the
other and said, "I'm chopping
down the next tree I see.
I don't care whether it's
decorated or not!"

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed.

1. Schizophrenia:
Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder:
We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia:
I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissism:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic Depression:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores
and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and
then sit in the corner and cry

6. Paranoia:
Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder:
Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell
You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder:
Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate,
why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder:
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

This is going to be big, (as Adam said to Eve) so there will be an

short intermission and we will resume on the morrow.


Have a wonderful Christmas, then come visit some more.






I've been on a calendar,

but never on time.

Christmas Tree

Now let's get this straight once and for all shall we?



This is a Christmas tree.
It is not a Hanukkah bush, it is not an Allah plant,
it is not a Holiday hedge
nor a Holiday tree or a Seasonal tree.
It is a Christmas tree.

Say it... CHRISTmas, Yes. CHRISTmas - celebrating the Birth of
Jesus Christ!!!

Do Not remove "Christ" from Christmas
Take a stand and pass this on this is not only Our Tradition, but known
world wide, just do not try to make us, the Christian people, change to
your way of thinking.

We do not say you can not say or do as your traditions, so please do
not expect us to change to your ways.

By the way it is our custom here in to say and wish others a
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" Not Happy Holidays nor Seasons Greetings,
but MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

This is the Christmas season, not the Holiday season.
Oh yeah and wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!

If you agree with this, please feel free to pass it on!




Creativity has got to start with humanity

and when you're a human being,

you feel, you suffer.

Voices From The Past

Always reach out to someone who is dressed only in rags and
needs your love and understanding.



Yeah... well I reached out to

this poor homeless looking

girl the other day!!!!!













*

**

***

****

*****



The doctors say I should be

back on my feet in a couple

of months and will probably

suffer only slight permanent

damage.

Blasts from the past; I don’t know how many of you would have caught
up with the farewell post that FTS ran, some of you probably don’t even
know who FTS is, it’s always a bit sad to say goodbye to a friend and
FTS proved himself to be that, call in and say goodbye.

Out of the blue came a short post from favourite funny girl Ivy.

Another one who has been very scarce is Big Dave, Dave was good
enough to leave me these couple of gems;

"Some people are alive just because it's illegal to shoot them"

Here's a new bumper sticker I just saw this week:

"My golden retriever is smarter than our President."

Another blogger who only posts occasionally is Norvona she supplied
this little exchange;

Aliens are coming

Betty emailed Norvona:

Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking and sexy people.
you're all safe, I'm just e- mailing to say goodbye!

Betty.

Norvona replied:

And when they get tired of all you good looking, sexy people, they
will come back for the smart and witty ones... SIGH... then I will be
all alone by myself.

From Sandy, who fortunately isn’t MIA;

Hormone Guide for Men,

There are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS:

SAFER:

SAFEST:

ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner?

Can I help you with dinner?

Where would you like to go for dinner?

Here, have some chocolate.

Are you wearing that?

Wow, you sure look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some chocolate

What are you so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some chocolate.

Should you be eating that?

You know, there are a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

Here, have some chocolate.

What did you DO all day?

I hope you didn't over-do it today.

I've always loved you in that robe!

Here, have some more chocolate.

Thirteen things PMS stands for:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4 Puffy Midsection

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one .

13. Potential Murder Suspect.

I'm AWOL for the weekend, had lunch with Margaret at Caloundra on
the way down to Warren’s in Brisbane yesterday just catching up
with a few friends before Christmas.

In the start of the Christmas season things are stating to get quite
busy, but have managed to get my Christmas Poem and Letter
finished and have done my shopping so I can sit back and enjoy
the ride now.

Hope you are all enjoying the ride too.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

The Christmas Season

Now that the Christmas season is behind us for another year let’s take a

look at the 2005 Gympie edition, this year our Christmas Dinner with

close friends was to include five adults, no children attending.

We got together on Christmas Eve a little after lunch for a drink and to

discuss any last minute changes and generally enjoy ourselves, which we did.

About three hours later the bubble burst, one of the five received a

phone call that shattered our Christmas, the call was to inform her that

her youngest son had committed suicide.

He was a young man of 32, married with three young children, sadly his

marriage had broken up 4/5 months before, and one can only assume that

the thought of Christmas without his family became more than he could

bear.

This all took place in a remote little settlement in central NSW where he

had gone for work, because of the remote location, and the fact that it

was Christmas Eve coupled with another fact, that the death was not from

natural causes, the law said there had to be an autopsy and an inquest into

cause of death.

This led to delays of unknown time before the release of the body for the

cremation that had been decided on.

Meanwhile back in Gympie where we were trying hard to celebrate

Christmas and provide some support for a friend, because of the

circumstances outlined above there was no point in her returning home

where she would have been alone, she had lost her husband in September.

We did, despite all of this manage to have a wonderful meal with very

good company, but imagine how much better it would have been without

that huge shadow over one of the group.

As I write this the body has still not been released, imagine the trauma

this is putting our friend through, she has since left Gympie after

promising not to go home alone, so she is waiting anxiously with other

friends for the final act of this terrible story.

I have a son who is a High School Chaplain who has been involved with

2 suicides and another couple of unsuccessful suicides, he passed on the

cheerful news that suicide can be contagious, with one leading to another

as people are dragged through emotional hell with deaths of friends.

It seems also to be a well documented fact that the “festive” season is a

time that emergency staff at hospitals and police personnel dreads

because of the family and personal crisis that goes hand in hand with

the season.

Here in the Southern Hemisphere we are in our summer season, this

presents it’s own set of problems, mainly, but not exclusively, in the

southern half of the country there are often horrific bushfires, again

as I write, there are serious fires burning out of control in three States,

remember we only have six mainland States.

Our population is very much clustered around the coastline, as water

sports play a huge part in our lives, this almost inevitably contributes

more drama, there are many dangerous rips at our beaches, these and our

constant search for relief from the heat in dams rivers and the beach

contribute many drowning each summer.

In the northern parts of Australia we have the monsoon, (or wet) season

this often brings with it major flooding with associated huge costs and

hardship.

It is also the cyclone season which at times can be devastating for the

areas affected

Interwoven with all of this we have the summer holidays and Christmas

season, as one might imagine this can be looked on with a sense of

foreboding, especially for the ones who have experienced some form of

tragedy, which has taken the joy out of what should be a joyous time.