"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Guns V Doctors.


Just one final word on my birthday, as well as the people
who I have listed on my blogroll who came and wished me
well there were many new faces too, some were here at the
request of the many blogs that mentioned the birthday,
thank you one and all for the wishes of health and happiness.

My health is excellent and you all contributed an extra serve
of happiness by being my friends.

There were 21 new faces at holtieshouse over the 3 days of
celebration, if you were one of them and have not had a
thank you yet please know that I did appreciate your visit.


Guns V Doctors.

Doctors:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are
120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this.

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age
groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is
.000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI.

So, statistically speaking, doctors are approximately 9,000
times more dangerous than gun owners !!


Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."


FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of
hand!!!!!

P.S.
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the
statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people
to panic and seek medical attention.


How’s Sarah?

Anyone who has ever had a loved one in hospital will enjoy
this:

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect
me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd
like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as
expected, or getting worse"

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name
and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records.
Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full
meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart
monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this
improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home on
Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic...
that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you
are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells
me a damn thing.


16 comments:

JunieRose said...

LOL-

That last one is a gem!


June

Lucy said...

Fun stats..and tip on how to find out about my health condiditon. tee hee

bornfool said...

If doctors are made illegal, only criminals will have doctors.

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ Every time I go in for my yearly physical and see my Doctor... I think about the GUN statistics (and believe them!) ~ jb///

kenju said...

I went to Marcus' blog and saw the family photos from your birthday, Peter. What a nice family you have!

momma said...

Again Peter you have Tickled my funny bone. I really am going to have to read back post. Thank you for the smile!

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ I really liked the Sarah
Finkel story. Smart lady !!
I take it you are not fired up yet to get back to the norm. You can't have fun forever. Not even a word of praise for my 2 sucessful links. Surprised even me that they worked.
Take care, Merle.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Happy, happy birfday, Peter. I'm so sorry I missed it.

Great contrast between docs and guns! I'll remember that fact.

Carolyn said...

Glad your birthday was most memorable!

I don't have a gun, but yes, I do have a doctor who owns a gun. Scary!! ;)

Karen said...

You're an awesome guy and I'm glad you had a great birthday and have new friends. :-)

Great jokes, thanks for the giggles.

Have a good day!

Raggedy said...

That was a great post! I am still laughing. I added you to my links I hope this is okay.

Hugsssssss

Big Dave T said...

I've seen those gun statistics before distributed by those militant gun owner types. Guess my response would be, next time you think you're having a heart attack, call the NRA then.

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm going to copy that last joke and send it to my mom.
She can really relate after her night in the Canadian Ward of Misery.

My mom did indeed have several small strokes. She has had tests and will be getting help to ensure she is not in danger of any more. Luckily, she has not had any lingering affects from the mild strokes. Thank the Lord!

poopie said...

Sarah is one.smart.lady. Take it from one who works there ;)

DellaB said...

very funny story Peter (Sarah Finkel) .. but also, sadly, probably too true!
regards
Della

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

These two jokes are fabulous...I'm going to send them to my brother in California...he'll get a kick out of them.
Thank you very much Peter.