Holtieshouse is 70.

The photo below is a bit of a hoax it was taken about 4
years ago when my mate Warren and I did a trip through
the outback and down to Perth WA.

As we approached the town of Port Headland I noticed
that the road signs were the same as my initials….
Hmmm…. gotta be able to use that… so when we got to
the PH 70 sign I decided to do a birthday picture of what
I may well look like in 4 years time.

Please believe me, I struck this pose to accentuate my
WORST features, so just to prove this is an equal
opportunity Blog I have posed it untouched by photoshop
and in full living colour.

As my good friend Hoss would say, "I'm a lot purdier than
that in real life."

We traveled on for another 10 kilometres and sure enough
there was a PH 60 sign so once more outcame the camera
and even though I was no longer 60 I took the opportunity
to make up for the previous photo a little.

This was back in the time that I drove a Land Rover Discovery
would not get my vote for the best 4WD vehicle ever.

Fannie Green.

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father,
I have sinned; it has been one month since my last confession. I've
had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven, try to be stronger
and take three Hail Mary's for your penance"

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, I have sinned;
it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex
with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?

"A new woman in the parish," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "You are forgiven my son but try to
be stronger and avoid temptation, go and say ten Hail Mary's
for your penance."

The following morning at mass, the priest is preparing to read
the gospel when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.
All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the
aisle and sits down in the pew right in front of the Altar. Her
dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald
green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with
her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is
that Fannie Green?"

The altar boy quietly replies, "No Father, I think it's just the
reflection off her shoes."