place and it seemed like a good time to use them up.
Don't EVER take lollies from
Now heres a scary image I don't
care how broad minded you are
this has got to be at least mildly
The Great Australian yarn.
This was the winner:
Two cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar.
One asked, "What are ya up to, Mate?"
"Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie."
"Oh yeah........and what route are you takin'?"
"Ah, prob'ly the Missus.............. after all, she stuck by me
This is a guaranteed
way to get banned
Loved the guy on
(Yes they are real
The nursing home.
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing
home. Since most of the facilities were completely full, they had to put
him in a Jewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they
came to visit grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,"
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong
place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."
"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the
residents here," grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician
here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years
and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!"
"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on
the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'!"
And there's a physician here -- 90 years ! old. He hasn't been
practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"
"And what about you Grandpa" - asks the grandson.
"And me...., I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call me
The F*****g Arab!'"
I suppose its not proof that you are gay, but you're really gonna
hate that picture when you grow up.