International Terrorism.

My recent heroines from when I had my eye surgery have both
been suffering their own problems I am sad to report, Jackie,
who was my driver and carer for the day of surgery has been
in hospital and had knee replacement surgery 2 weeks ago,
she is now on the road to recovery but still experiencing a lot
of pain, my eye surgery pales to insignificance by comparison.

Meanwhile Margaret who was the backup lady while we were
at Coloundra has had back and hip troubles and a virus that
has kept her home from work and in bed for several days.

My sympathy goes out to you both and I hope you are both
fighting fit again soon.

Here are a couple of chilling thoughts about our world today.

The real welcome to Marlboro Country.

Superior weapons are not enough to win the war on terrorism.

International terror alert status:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

In America President George Dubya Bush has declared war on terrorism, this has led to an exhaustive search for WMD and has people using terms like; “Holy Shit, look at the price of gas” and “See I told you we needed John Wayne to win”.

The Australians meanwhile are saying; “We will fight them on the beaches….” err.. no.. that was Churchill wasn’t it… in typical style the Australians are saying; “Throw another shrimp on the Barbie” and “C’mon Aussie C’mon” while heading for Surfers Paradise in their RVs.

The joys of traveling:


A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.