It's marvelous the transformation a bit of well applied makeup can
make to even the seeming lost cause.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOM WHEN...
* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor..... and you don't care.
* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
* You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
* Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
* Popsicle's become a food staple.
* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
* You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.
* You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
* Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
* You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
* Your kid throws up and you catch it.
* You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway.
* You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
* You're up each night until 11 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, NOT you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog.
* You get up at and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
An very senior Aboriginal elder, sat in his bark humpy eyeing two government officials sent to interview him.
One of the government officials opened the conversation...
"Well, old man, you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and yet you might also have seen some ways where he has gone wrong."
The elder nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering these events, in your opinion,
is there anything the white may not have got right?"
The Elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute, and then calmly explained:
"When the white man came to our land, we Aboriginals were running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish, Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sex."
Then the elder leaned back and smiled before he added,
"Only white man bloody stupid enough to think he could improve a system like that."