"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Any Mom's recognize themselves here?

These pictures show George W Bush before and after makeup

It's marvelous the transformation a bit of well applied makeup can
make to even the seeming lost cause.




YOU KNOW YOU'RE A MOM WHEN...

* Your feet stick to grape jelly on the kitchen floor..... and you don't care.

* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.

* You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.

* Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.

* Popsicle's become a food staple.

* Your favorite television show is a cartoon.

* You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.

* You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!

* Spit is your number one cleaning agent.

* You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.

* You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

* You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

* You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

* Your kid throws up and you catch it.

* You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; but your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun anyway.

* You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.

* You're up each night until 11 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, NOT you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog.

* You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.



Aboriginal Wisdom.

An very senior Aboriginal elder, sat in his bark humpy eyeing two government officials sent to interview him.

One of the government officials opened the conversation...

"Well, old man, you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and yet you might also have seen some ways where he has gone wrong."
The elder nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering these events, in your opinion,
is there anything the white may not have got right?"

The Elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute, and then calmly explained:

"When the white man came to our land, we Aboriginals were running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish, Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sex."

Then the elder leaned back and smiled before he added,

"Only white man bloody stupid enough to think he could improve a system like that."

16 comments:

kenju said...

Love the photos. He got a haircut too, didn't he?

The news was rife this morning with all his gaffes and faux pas while the Queen was here. Poor Queen, having to smile and put up with the likes of him.

Katherine said...

mwahahaha! Loved the aboriginal joke!

Miss Cellania said...

I AM the mom in that list! It was my husband, the stay-at-home-dad, who would talk the ear off a telemarketer or a wrong number caller. And I can't tell you how many times we call the cordless phone with the cellphone to find it, or vice-versa. One of these days, they BOTH will be lost at once!

Zaac said...

hehe the aboriginal bloke makes a good point!

Big Dave T said...

What's wrong with a cereal with marshmallows? Where else can you eat a food as colorful and as flavorful as Lucky Charms?

Lucky for me I'm blogging to an Aussie or else some vegetarian might lecture me on the benefits of salads.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think you like women for what they do almost as much as I do.

Walker said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From start to finish but the last one was the kicker.

Jeanette said...

Gday peter. You can fit me in on that list somewere being a mum changed nappies, cleaned sick beds in the middle of the night..

Lee said...

Hahahaha...love the joke, Peter! :)

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Good post and I liked the aboriginal joke best. He made a lot of sense. Hope all is well with you. Take care, Love, Merle.

Dave said...

*ROTFLMAO* Love it Peter!!!

Steve G said...

Aboriginal Wisdom. I believe the question was put to an old American Indian at one time. He came up with the same answer. Lots of wisdom there.

Jamie Dawn said...

Dubya looked a little uncomfortable in his tux when the Queen came for dinner. He is more suited to jeans and cowboy boots. He NEEDS that makeup.
Good Lord! What a fright!!
Dubya's a good soul.

That Aboriginal leader is wise.

Jim said...

Jim's Little Blog will be operated by Karen and/or Billy until mid-June.
I will try to find an Internet cafe in the jail house so I can check in every now and then.
..

Meow said...

Great post, Peter ... and I sure can relate to many of those mum-things !! Hubby is never impressed when I lick my finger to use to clean a smudge off his face !!!
Take care, Meow

Hale McKay said...

"Only white man bloody stupid enough..." - That was one very wise and observant Aborigine!