A Yard Sale

Early Years








Later Years ..................................................................................Still Checking

Do you ever get to the stage where your mailbx starts to expand… there’s so much stuff in there you are afraid there will be an explosion? your desktop looks like a new housing sub-division… NO…. me neither, but things have started to clutter up a bit so I’m having a yard sale, here are a few of the bargains.

Fun Facts About Australia -that I came across.

· No part of Australia is more than 1000 km from the ocean and a beach
· (The point in the world that's the furthest from any ocean would be in China.)

· Australia has the world's largest cattle station (ranch).
At 30,028 km2 it is almost the same size as Belgium.

· Population density in Australia is usually calculated in km2 per person, not people per km2.
· Australians have 380,000 m2 per person available.

Yet well over 90% are cramming into our coastal cities.
(Don't ask me why, I sure prefer to be in the Outback.)

· We call Australian's from Queensland "banana benders",
and people from Western Australia "sandgropers".
· Tasmania has the cleanest air in the world.

· The Great Barrier Reef has a mailbox.
You can ferry out there and send a postcard,
stamped with the only Great Barrier Reef stamp.

· The Australian Alps, or Snowy Mountains as they are also known,
receive more snow than Switzerland.

· Melbourne has the second largest Greek population in the world, after Athens.
(Did you know that Walker?)

I work, they pay me.

I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that pay cheque when I work on an a W.A.mine site or a
Kalgoorlie construction project, I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them??

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their ass drinking & smoking dope or taking drugs. Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance cheque?????

Refugee payments.

It is interesting that the federal government provides a single refugee with
a monthly allowance of $1,890.00 and each can also get an additional
$580.00 in social assistance for a total of $2,470.00.

This compares very well to a single pensioner who after contributing
to the growth and development of Australia for 40 to 50 years only
receives a monthly maximum of $1,012.00 in old age pension and
Guaranteed Income Supplement.

Maybe our pensioners should apply as refugees!

Let's send this to all Australians so we can all be ticked off and
maybe we can get the refugees cut back to $1,012.00 and the
pensioners up to $2,470.00 and enjoy some of the money we were
forced to submit to the Government over the last 40 or 50 years.

Please forward to every Australian to expose what our elected
politicians are doing - to the over-taxed Australian

Jihad Better Be Ready.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights. One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. The second is a Cowboy on his way to a livestock show. The third passenger is an Arab college student, newly arrived from the Middle East.

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Americans learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.

The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, 'At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few.'

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, 'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'

The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says: That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet. But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

This one’s ‘armless.

A man had lost one of his arms. One day he had enough. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off.

He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that man could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again.

He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"

He said, "I'm NOT happy .... My arse is itchy."

"Are these my brains?"

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet ," she replied.

ALZHEIMER'S OR PARKINSONS…

Which one would you rather have?

PARKINSONS of course!

Better to spill half your drink than forget where the f**k you put it!

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.
Mae West