"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Stuff you might need to know.

Yes I know we have all seen these before but they still make us smile and I needed
something simple to post, so stop complaining!!


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a bunk bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00am is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favourite song in a shopping centre.

6. You watch the ABC.

7. Your friends marry & divorce instead of "hook up" and "break-up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 20.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those ****** kids
next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking
"Oh sh*t, what happened?"

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take weekend naps from noon

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a Kebab at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the Chemist for ibuprofen and antacid, not
condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again!" -

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. -

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. You read and reread this entire list looking desperately for
one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save
your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends
cause you know they'll enjoy it as much as you did & do the same.

30 Things you need to know.

  1. Aftermath - When I had English class
  2. Analogy - Life story of an asshole
  3. Autopilot - One of the stars of the movie "Airplane"
  4. Benign - What an 8-year-old is on next birthday
  5. Bombadier - Use grenades to kill Bambi
  6. Brouhaha - Giggles from drinking too much beer
  7. Budget - What Yoda says when he needs another beer
  8. Catch-22 - A bust when playing Blackjack
  9. Commercial - What Hershel's mother says when dinner is ready
  10. Controvertible - Sedan
  11. Donate - The past tense of donut
  12. Elixir - What a man does after he kisses down low
  13. End all - The letter "L"
  14. Ennui - Where tears form
  15. Experiment - The hardened wads found under counter tops
  16. Feline - Where you wait for hours to pay your registration
  17. Forego - What you do after foreplay
  18. Hortense - What happened when the hooker was busted
  19. Larceny - Posting "The Far Side" cartoons against cartoonist's wishes
  20. Miniscule - Kindergarten
  21. Mystery - She spelled cheese as "chese"
  22. Negligent - Wearing flannel pajamas to bed
  23. Oxymoron - The dude who sells Oxy cleaner on those Infomercials
  24. Pasteurize - Where your eyebrows are found
  25. Piston - Much worse than pistoff
  26. Rectum - What happened to the cars in a head-on collision
  27. Rhubarb - Ru Paul's sister who dresses up as a man
  28. Sparrow - What you have when you spell "boook"
  29. Upstart - The letter "U"
  30. Voluptuary - Where Victoria's Secret models live.


Dave said...

Good Grief Peter.... I recognize ALL of them at the top... except for, what is "Watch the ABC"???

Have a great weekend my friend, and stop by my blog when you can, new post today!

Pamela said...

many new ones in the list of 30

and I, like Dave, wonder what the ABC is (television network??)

You are right about shaking head and saying "all true, so sad. I'm old"

Cliff said...

yep, I recognized myself up top. Not funny anymore Peter. Well...kind of funny. So were the new meanings.

Alix said...

phew I still kill my house plants so not quite a grown up yet!

Maria said...

Thank you for the smile. I love the miniscule - Kindergarten one alot.

Hope you have a great New Years and celebrate with the best of them there folks down under.

Walker said...

OMG I don't think I have grown up!!!!!

Walker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.