"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

All about words.

I needed to find something else to think about.... other than Vicki's tumor.

Click to enbiggen


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

we are no further advanced than we were when I posted last, the waiting is tough.


Willowtree said...

Actually Pete, given the content of this post, I think you may have even gone backwards since your last post.

Just try to stay positive, as the people who clean up the droppings at the zoo say "no gnus is good gnus".

kenju said...

We're pulling for her, Peter. You hang in there.

karisma said...

Hugs....That lesson in language was too funny! Thanks for the smile!

ChrisB said...

These are amusing, you've made me smile :)

Your family is in my thoughts.

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter, Lovely photo of Rex and Vicki..

Vicki is a strong girl, and im sure she will come through this tough time with flying colours.
The waiting game is the hardest stay strong Peter.You are all in my thoughts,,
BTW, are you flying or driving To S.A.

Rachel said...

Oh Peter, I'm so very very sorry about your daughter. I pray that

all will be well for her.

I loved this funny post. The learning Chinese thing had me in stitches!!!

Pamela said...

I'm living the big britches one.

I'm enjoying a lovely visit from daughter and granddaughter... and my thoughts drifted to yours.

Lyle said...

Hi Peter - now I have another name to add to the list - a lexophile! Love it!

I am sending lots of healing and love to you and the family. Stay positive.

Joy Des Jardins said...

A funny post Peter. One thing we've come to expect from you....a beautiful humor. I pray you can call on it when you need to throughout this ordeal with Vicki. Your humor will get you through a lot of things my dear friend....

Jamie Dawn said...

LOVE the Chinese words. I copied the link for it and will send it on to my mom and dad. Funny!

I will now read your previous post so I can know what's happening with your dear daughter, Vicki.

Gledwood said...

Hi Peter
I've been by and commented before but quite a while ago. You might have seen my furry face at Merle's

Just to say I loved the Chinese menu it reminds me of one I posted at mine on 1 Jan this year:

Try the Squatting Dragon set meal!:~~

Shi Tibum Chicken with Faast Pu Sauce
Big Pong Pork with Run Toy Let Dressings
with complimentary Ae Ki Be Li pancake rolls
Optional recommended:
(Northern Thai) Ru Ni Spla Ta Yuk Yuk curry (warning: extra hot!)
or an equivalent "dish" from the south (actually only a large tureen will hold it:)
King Prawn and Squid Special Go Khrap Cuiq
or perhaps try the even hotter:
King Prawns Fiil Laik Dai (it's what the prawns died of: comes up even quicker than it went down...)

linda may said...

G'Day Pete,
Love to Vicki.
I think I must be a lexiphile. I love this silly stuff.