Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of :
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
Hop on a boat
A FREE HOUSE!
We've already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The Australian Taxpayer.
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English:
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $800 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone
buy a ticket to Indonesia
And catch the first available boat.
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you enter Australian waters,and remember the magic password
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia gateway, where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips to luxury accommodation
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia
Our most popular destinations also include the Baxter reef and the world famous Christmas Island resort
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
It won't cost you a cent.
It could change your life forever .
So play today.
Iraqi Terrorists, Afghan Dissidents, Albanian Gangsters, Pro-Pinochet
Activists, Anti-Pinochet Activists, Kosovan Drug-Smugglers, Tamil Tigers,
Bogus Bosnians, Rwandan Mass Murderers, Somali Guerrillas...
COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the Indonesia fishing ports
Don't stop in Thailand or Bali
Go straight to Australia
And you are:
to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play