Holties House: Joke 9

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Joke 9

Unfortunately for those of us living in the Sunshine State The Brisbane Lions have just claimed the prize for Joke 9.
Just how a side that won 3 flags in a row and were runners up the next year can capitulate to the side on the bottom of the ladder, (by a sizeable margin too!) oh well that's footy for you I guess.
No doubt there are many "other staters" who are delighted to see the fall of the great Lions, we can handle it up here too, but it means we will get less and less news of AFL footy and more Rugby League coverage if the Lions keep slipping.
While Marcus has admitted to a preference for "Fatty" over "Eddie" when it comes to the respective "footy shows," we have the dubious pleasure of waiting until 1am for AFL news, I have a preference for the AFL version if only it could be presented without Sam Newman, he has to be most peoples idea of the perfect slob surely.

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Random Thoughts

* It's a damn small mind that can only think of one way to spell a word ! ~ Andrew Jackson.

* Take my advice, I'm not using it !

* Support bacteria; It's the only culture some people have.

* Wrinkles don't hurt !

* Too soon we get old; Too late we get smart.

* If you have a dog you don't need to bark.

* Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Albert Einstein.

* Forget the health foods, I need all the preservatives I can get.

* Depressed women eat or go shopping...Depressed men invade another country.

* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

· What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

* Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease.

* "I am not young enough to know everything." ~Oscar Wilde.

* A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent. ~Jerome Lawrence.

* "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

* "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

* As the Buddha says, "There are two ways to have enough. One is to buy more. The other is to desire less."

* "Red meat isn't bad for you... that green fuzzy stuff is."

* Forehead.... Somewhere to rest your hand when you're frustrated.

* The seventh commandment is thou shall not admit adultery.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called Monotony.

* "If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherder every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side." Orson Scott Card.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

*The last thing I want to do is hurt you... But its still
on my list !

*Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit... Wisdom
is not putting it in a fruit salad !

* Don't argue with an idiot... He'll drag you down to
his level then beat you with experience.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier
than puttin' it back in.

Holties House

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Joke 9

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