Holties House: A Cupla Funnies.

Friday, October 21, 2005

A Cupla Funnies.

I shall seek you out and find you
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you
I will make you ache and sweat
And you will be weak for days
All my love, the flu germ.

A pregnant woman has a car crash and falls into a deep coma.
She sleeps for nearly six months, when she wakes up she realises she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor says"It's OK you had twins, a boy and a girl, your babies are fine, your brother came in and named them for you.
The woman thinks to herself, oh no, not my brother he's an idiot.
Expecting the worst she asks the doctor. "Well whats the girls name."
"Denise" the doctor replies.
Hey that's not too bad the new mum thinks, guess I was wrong about my brither, I like Denise.
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boys name."
The doctor replies, "Denephew."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Hi Peter, I like these - have seen both before. I think Kim sent me the denephew one. It is good. Have you finished reading my e-mail yet? Sorry to be so long-winded.; Fri Oct 21, 09:59:00 pm

Random Thoughts

* It's a damn small mind that can only think of one way to spell a word ! ~ Andrew Jackson.

* Take my advice, I'm not using it !

* Support bacteria; It's the only culture some people have.

* Wrinkles don't hurt !

* Too soon we get old; Too late we get smart.

* If you have a dog you don't need to bark.

* Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Albert Einstein.

* Forget the health foods, I need all the preservatives I can get.

* Depressed women eat or go shopping...Depressed men invade another country.

* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

· What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

* Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease.

* "I am not young enough to know everything." ~Oscar Wilde.

* A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent. ~Jerome Lawrence.

* "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

* "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

* As the Buddha says, "There are two ways to have enough. One is to buy more. The other is to desire less."

* "Red meat isn't bad for you... that green fuzzy stuff is."

* Forehead.... Somewhere to rest your hand when you're frustrated.

* The seventh commandment is thou shall not admit adultery.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called Monotony.

* "If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherder every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side." Orson Scott Card.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

*The last thing I want to do is hurt you... But its still
on my list !

*Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit... Wisdom
is not putting it in a fruit salad !

* Don't argue with an idiot... He'll drag you down to
his level then beat you with experience.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier
than puttin' it back in.

Holties House

"In the beginning"

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Friday, October 21, 2005

A Cupla Funnies.

1 comment: