"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Idiots we all know

IDIOTS IN SERVICE:

This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the Telstra repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email.

(Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).


IDIOTS AT WORK:

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt.

As luck would have it, they matched.


IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Koala Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: too many Koalas' were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore.


IDIOT SIGHTING #1

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


IDIOT SIGHTING #2

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"


IDIOT SIGHTING #3

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."

Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


IDIOT SIGHTING #4

I work with an individual who plugged her power board back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

(There is no punch line for this one!)


IDIOT SIGHTING #5

When my husband and I arrived at a dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"

To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."


DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW???

A few family matters, my youngest son Bruce his wife Jane and their youngest son Cody will be here for about a week, so the posting may slow down, depends what we get up to.

My middle son Marcus has suggested that I should have called my latest series Holtieshouses, I love it, they will be so called from now on.

Last but not least my lovely grand-daughter Aimee has put a pin on my guestmap, Aimee is a superb dancer with the most supple body imagineable,were you visiting Albany when you placed your pin Aimee?

Please follow her lead; I would love to know where you all come from!

3 comments:

bubba said...

Love those idiots. What else are you going to do with them? I am in Hemet, california.

Merle said...

Good jokes but Warren had already sent them to me. And a few others
that he also sent you.
Artherton Rd - not Atherton.
Your memory is failing!

aimee said...

i find that very insulting... i know where i live