symptons at "Ms Vickie's" site, go have a look it could
be important some day, may even save a life.
Now as the site is open I'll just include this stuff.
As Time Goes By
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club
and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics
class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up
and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"
the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your
own Easter eggs.
--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up
to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
--- I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries,
a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than
a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and
feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost
all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
--- A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says,
"Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir," replied the doctor,
"you're 97 Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're damned right it is!" replied the old man.
"That's why I want it lowered!"
--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told
her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted
to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered
over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed.
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my
memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
---The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look
at our boobs. The bad news is they have to squat down first.
---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,
"For fast relief."
---I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my
age, but they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."
---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your
inner child playing with matches.
---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.