"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Twelve Days of Christmas



Might as well stay with the PC/Christmas theme for

one more post, sadly I haven’t got an audio clip of

the twelve days of Christmas to blend with this post.

The 12 Days Of Christmas (For the politically correct)



On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave
to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal
products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened
to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and
partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat.
To avoid furtherAnimal-American enslavement, the remaining gift
package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses

AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

15 comments:

bubba said...

Ok now Peter. Explain how I get all this stuuf off my screen! LOL.

Theresa said...

ROFL! LOVE. IT!

FTS said...

Good chuckle this morning. :)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I hear 4 hours of recorded whale songs are what the CIA is now using at Abu Gharib.

kenju said...

It lacks a little something in the PC version.....lol

Big Dave T said...

Pretty funny stuff. I'd not seen these.

I heard that PETA, another animal liberation movement, put bright orange hunting vests on a number of deer during hunting season near here. The idea was to confuse the hunters. But what it did was make the deer easier to spot and shoot. Every one of the deer clad in hunter's orange fell victim during the season.

Jamie Dawn said...

This is so ridiculous and so true at the same time. It's one of those things that makes you laugh and then when you think of all the loons who think that way, then it makes you wanna cry. God help us! PC people are making it hard for the rest of us to say anything.

Cliff Morrow said...

After I got done wiping the tears Peter, I have a question, you've got to be from the U.S. Yer messin with us.

Ivy the Goober said...

That hurt my wittle head :(

Karen said...

Now that is classic. Thanks for the laughs!

lime said...

found you thru a link from a friend who had a link to a friend. hilarious post!

Sudiegirl said...

Wow...I attempted to read this out loud and I sprained my tongue.

AAAGGGHHH!

Good stuff, man!

Sudiegirl

Carolyn said...

LOL, I got a kick out of this one! Keep 'em coming Peter :D

lime said...

lol, to clarify as youleft a question for me at my place...insane asylime i share with another lady. it's more or less a place for a humourous look at family life or the things that make us crazy. house of lime is my personal blog where i do some cultural notes, weird news posts, reportings on life in general, and whatever else strikes my fancy

Peter said...

Hi all, just closin' the book on this one thanks for the interest.