"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, January 20, 2006

A Mixed Bag


Some of you will be familiar with Junie Rose or Juniper Rose let me

introduce you to Junies Place which is a new home for this talented

lady, June writes lovely poetry and tells very entertaining stories,

so if you haven’t met her already, or ifyou have but were not aware

of her new site, do call in.



The Old Poodle



A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her

faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles

discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard

heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some

bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew

on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the

leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that

was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around

here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike,

a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly

had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a

nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade

it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle

sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that

something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,

spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The

young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,

monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that

conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his

back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running,

the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't

seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old

poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago

to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth

and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!


Survey



Last month, the U.N. conducted a worldwide survey.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to World Food

Shortages?"



The survey was a huge failure:



In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In
Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In
Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In
Eastern China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the
Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In
South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA, they didn't know what "rest of the world" meant.


Oooops, is that another nanosecond post ?



14 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ One smart poodle that. The survey was funny too.
My counter is at the end of all my posts, as is the list of bloggers. I would prefer it to be at the top. Yours also. But it doesn't really matter.
Julie is doing great and may start out for home on Monday.
Has Margaret had her son's service
yet. Is she OK?
I see I have funny letters to type in, so that is new.

JunieRose2005 said...

Peter,

How very nice and thoughtful to mention me in your post today and also to send me all the info you did in the email in an effort to help me get things running smoothly in my new place!

:) as you may have gathered, none of this is easy for me! (The computer stuff!!!)...And I dislike change, so was reluctant to leave my old blog place because it had become so familier to me! Pictures were a "SNAP", there!! :)
Only problem, no one could find me there and when they did they found it too complicated to post!

I'll be fine here on blogger, after I get settled in.

I enjoyed your funny stories today!
Yep-a SMART poodle!

The survey one was very funny - :)

Thanks to both you and Merle for putting "Junie's Place" in your links, too.

Theresa said...

Wow...interesting and funny survey!

Carolyn said...

I love that poodle story! :D

I will grab some time and visit Junie-- sounds great!

Joy Des Jardins said...

This is a day of firsts for me...

First time visiting your site, and first at June's too. I'm adding you both to my blogroll...makes visiting so much easier. Thanks.

Jamie Dawn said...

All were funny! Thanks.
I like that old poodle the best. Never underestimate an old fart.

No_Newz said...

You little stud! Congratulations for being hit on 7,000 times since April! ;)
Thanks for the jokes today. Have a great weekend!
Lois Lane

Karen said...

Those are so funny!! Thanks for the belly laughs!

Have a great weekend :-D

mreddie said...

The U N survey was so close to the truth, but still funny. And yes I am a reader of Junie's Place as well. ec

bubba said...

I'll go over next to Junies place. The poodle was great.

Hale McKay said...

Two sets of high fives! The poodle story was great. I enjoyed the survey also.
Good stuff.

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ G'day mate! I loved the one about the "OLD FARTS" (for obvious reasons)! ~ jb///

Tan Lucy Pez said...

"Rest of the world?" Wherever is that?

Trucker Bob said...

Why you ol' rascal Peter, you've got my Huggy Bear (Karen) over here with her new avatar.