A Mixed Bag

Some of you will be familiar with Junie Rose or Juniper Rose let me

introduce you to Junies Place which is a new home for this talented

lady, June writes lovely poetry and tells very entertaining stories,

so if you haven’t met her already, or ifyou have but were not aware

of her new site, do call in.

The Old Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her

faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles

discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard

heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some

bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew

on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the

leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that

was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around

here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike,

a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly

had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a

nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade

it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle

sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that

something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,

spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The

young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,

monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that

conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his

back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running,

the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't

seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old

poodle says: "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago

to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story..

Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth

and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!

Survey

Last month, the U.N. conducted a worldwide survey.

The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to World Food

Shortages?"

The survey was a huge failure:

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

In the USA, they didn't know what "rest of the world" meant.

Oooops, is that another nanosecond post ?