"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Kids Logic


Some more “kids logic” before I start to pack for my trip, catch ya

when I can.

A Kids View on Marriage

What Exactly Is Marriage?

"Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her

back to her parents" -Eric, six years old

"When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the

girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until

we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for

me.Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether

it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out." -Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?


"You flip a nickel, and heads means
you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." -
Kelly, nine years old

"My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do...
I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome."

-Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife"
-Bert, five years old

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?

"They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a

drive, but their car broke down...It was a good thing, because it gave

them a chance to find out about their values." -Lottie, nine years old

"My father was doing some strange chores for my mother.
They won't tell me what kind." -Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date." -Martin, ten years old

"Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love."
-Craig, nine years old

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a

ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
-Allan, ten years old

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if
anybody sees you....If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with

a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?

"You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan"

-Kirsten, ten years old

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need

somebody to clean up after them" -Anita, nine years old

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid.

I don't need that kind of trouble." -Will, seven years old

Microsoft Logic

One of Microsoft's finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot

camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and

bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the

target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked

at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over

the end ofthe rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target

area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

Vultures Are Flying

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make

the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were
carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through

as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."


And Finally.

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form

of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?”




10 comments:

Hale McKay said...

You save the best for last - LOL @ carrion and "You're what?"

This is Peter's version of the old Art Linkletter's "Kids Say The Darndest Things."

.Great post. Enjoy you sabbatical.

Karen said...

I loved those. I think the kissing was my favorite.

Have a wonderful weekend!

bubba said...

Very funny. another rib cracker.

Big Dave T said...

Yeah, it's like Linkletter says, "Kids say the darndest things."

JunieRose2005 said...

Peter, I especially like the Kid's Logic!

Kid's are wonderful!! :)


June

Jamie Dawn said...

Those are cute & funny. The one about a guy gets a girl & doesn't have to give her back to her parents got me thinking. There are a lot of guys who WISH they could give their wife back.
Have a good trip.

bornfool said...

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."

Now, how true is that.

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ These are pretty cute! Have a safe and enjoyable trip! ~ jb///

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"I'm just a kid." Riotonius.*




*Funnier than a riot.

Cliff Morrow said...

Great stuff again Peter. I really liked the last 3. You're what??