Oh for the opportunity, and the wit to have done this.
Revenge on the telemarketer
The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner. I answered it and
was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"
This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered
Freezer Company or something like that.
I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he
was calling this number.
I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body
and all the blood."
I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he
had called a murder scene and must stay on the line because we
had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to
appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address,
phone number at home,at work, who he worked for, how he knew the
dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour
before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very
concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.
I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work
place and, the police were entering the building to take him into
custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of
his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears
streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for
about fifteen minutes.
My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.