"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Two Catholic Stories


Please don’t take this as an assault on Catholic’s, I don’t care what religion
they are as long as they’re funny.


TWO CATHOLIC PARROTS



A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him. "Father, I have a
problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one
thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, Then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two
male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage
with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your

parrots are sure to stop saying. . that phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As
he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and
placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're
hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and
exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"

Catholic elementarybible school tests

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling

If you know the bible even a little you'll find this hilarious

The following statements about the bible were written by

children, they have not been altered or corrected.

Incorrect spelling has been retained.

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinesses, God got tired

of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's

wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the

animals came on in pears.

3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a

ball of fire during the night

4. The jews were a proud people and throughout

history they had trouble with unsympathetic

genitals.

5. Sampson slayed the philistines with the axe

of the apostles.

6. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam

to eat the apple.

7. Solomon, one of David's sons had 300 wives and 700

porcupines.

8. Jesus was born because Mary had a maculate

contraption.

9. the epistels were the wives of the apostles.

10. Christains have only one spouse, this is called

monotony.

11 comments:

Merle said...

Peter ~~ Some of these are very funny. You are going to be busy with your two blogs and now a guest blog. What fun.
See you soon ~ any date in mind yet?

PI said...

I've always loved parrot stories and this one made me chuckle

JunieRose2005 said...

:) loved that first one!!

Reminds me of something my husband (the comic) said about my 2 male cats!
Lol- but I'll leave that for another time!

June

bubba said...

Must be joke day on blogdom. Very funny

Carolyn said...

Those were cute! Loved the parrot story though :D

Hale McKay said...

Side hurting as I wipe tear from eye - those were great.
...I married a Catheter, and most of them don't mind jokes, especially after confession - they are free for another week.

Stacie said...

You told Ol Hoss my favorite joke ever how do you catch a unique rabbit....do you know how to catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way..you neek up on him!

Love your jokes..too funny. Stacie

Tan Lucy Pez said...

I'm lovin' it! Too, too funny.

Mike said...

Very funny stuff.

Jamie Dawn said...

Those parrots were in hog heaven! Or would that be parrot heaven??

Funny kids stuff. The gentiles/genitals mix up is a riot!

jules said...

Love the jokes. I've missed you, Petey Baby.