The story of my life, contiued.

The Story of My Life...

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so

I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In

college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.

Everything was anemergency; she was a drama queen, cried

all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a

girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl

but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never

got excited about anything.

Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with

some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep

up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never

settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and

made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun

initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided

to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31,

I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly

on the ground and married her.

She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took

everything I owned. I am now older and wiser, and am

now looking for a girl with big tits.

CallGirl

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit

lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you

see advertised in phone booths when you're calling

for a cab.

I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl

calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over

in the photo.

She had all the right curves in all the right places,

beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the

way up... you know the kind.

So I'm in my room and figure, "What the heck,

I'll give her a call." "Hello?" the woman says.

Wow! She sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great

massage and I'd like you to come to my room and

give me one. No, wait, Ishould be straight with you.

I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.

I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.

I'm talking kinky the whole night long.

You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys,

everything you've got in your bag! of tricks.

We'll go hot and heavy allnight; tie me up, wear

a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and

whipped cream, anything you want, baby! Now,

how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic....

but for an outside line, Sir,you need to press 9."

THE WORLD’S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl,
“Will you marry me?” The girl said,
“NO!” And the guy lived happily ever
after and went fishing, hunting and
played golf a lot and drank beer and
farted whenever he wanted.
The End

As a footnote to this post please let me assure all t

he ladies that read this, the views stated within are

not necessarily those of the management.

(mind you, they are not necessarily not the views

of the management either.)