The Story of My Life...
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so
I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In
college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was anemergency; she was a drama queen, cried
all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a
girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl
but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never
got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep
up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never
settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and
made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun
initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided
to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31,
I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly
on the ground and married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took
everything I owned. I am now older and wiser, and am
now looking for a girl with big tits.
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit
lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you
see advertised in phone booths when you're calling
for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl
calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over
in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places,
beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the
way up... you know the kind.
So I'm in my room and figure, "What the heck,
I'll give her a call." "Hello?" the woman says.
Wow! She sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great
massage and I'd like you to come to my room and
give me one. No, wait, Ishould be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.
I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.
I'm talking kinky the whole night long.
You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys,
everything you've got in your bag! of tricks.
We'll go hot and heavy allnight; tie me up, wear
a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and
whipped cream, anything you want, baby! Now,
how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic....
but for an outside line, Sir,you need to press 9."
THE WORLD’S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl,
“Will you marry me?” The girl said,
“NO!” And the guy lived happily ever
after and went fishing, hunting and
played golf a lot and drank beer and
farted whenever he wanted.
As a footnote to this post please let me assure all t
he ladies that read this, the views stated within are
not necessarily those of the management.
(mind you, they are not necessarily not the views
of the management either.)