"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Being Over 50, Advantages???


Diligent searching has revealed some facts that back up the
theory that there are some advantages in growing older.

As we get more saggy, ‘n baggy, and creaky, ‘n leaky, it’s good
to contemplate we are getting, wiser with Pfizer, and more
vital with Viagra, as time goes by.


Yes, being over 50 does have its advantages...


1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4. People call at
9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at
4 p.m.

9. You can live without sex (but not without glasses).

10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

12. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realize it.

13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.


15. You sing along with the elevator music.

16. Your eyes won't get much worse.

17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to
pay off.


18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
National Weather Service.


19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
remember them either.


20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

21. You can't remember who sent you this.


Now if I can just figure out which button to press to post this!!!!


14 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ These are great and too darn true to be funny.
I have been shopping and taken to lunch with Debbie and Anthony. Now they have
gone to see Frank, who is nearly 82.
Makes me feel quite young !! Sent him some fruit slice and a block of chocolate. Cheers, Merle.

Jacqui said...

Good post as usual, all those things would be funny if they weren't so close to being true.

About my joke last night, I'll just let the other ladies speak for me.

Marcus and co. are here, his afternoon was spoilt by Geelong's poor performance, but I was very happy with the Eagles.

JunieRose2005 said...

:)

Peter, all so true...

June

bornfool said...

Well I'm not fifty yet, but most of them are still true of me. lol.

Big Dave T said...

Those ARE funny. And my wife turns 50 this year so I'm sure I will share.

A couple I might disagree on, though. As we turn 50 in the U.S., we get coaxed into colonoscopies to check for polyps. That's a medical procedure that doesn't need explanation.

And my vision seems to be getting worse by the day. Some days anyway.

By the way, Happy Easter!

Jay said...

haha .. those are funny ... My mother says one of the benefits to getting old is that she can read the same mystery every few months because she can't remember who did it.

Hale McKay said...

I'll color this post 'Ain't that the truth."
...Good post, Pete.

Kelvin said...

Kia Ora (Hello) from that krazy blogger across the ditch. Another one to add to your list - "You can talk to yourself and no one thinks you're krazy" !!!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Darn if I don't resemble these remarks.

Lately when I hear that such-and-such horrible thing will be happening by the year 2020 (or some other year), I think to myself, "Self, don't worry about it. You ain't gonna be here to see it!"

Marcus said...

G'day Dad

Some desperate last minute blogging before I go cold turkey!

You're right, we're headed into the true desert however we're going in a brand new 40 seat air conditioned coach so at least we'll be doing it in some comfort and style. There's no support vehicle coming with us but we are fully stocked with supplies, satellite phone and two coach drivers. If a breakdown happens we'll be stuck for a fair while until repairs or a replacement vehicle arrive. We won't be going anywhere.

At the moment our main concern is that it has started to rain in the interior which may make some roads impassable for the return journey. If that happens we'll do the loop and go home via Coober Pedy and the Eyre Hwy. I wouldn't mind that especially if we got to make a brief stop at Wudinna, but it would add 1100km to the trip and thus necessitate non-stop driving, not the most pleasant way to do it with a bus load of kids.

There may be internet access available at Yalara so hopefully I'll get to post from there.

The latest news from The Heir has him back in Tassie from May 5-17 I think. He's keen to come home for a visit after that. When I mentioned you/Qld he was keen to visit and suggested maybe you could celebrate your birthdays together. I suggested he ask you to shout him a trip to Qld because you're a very generous man!!!
We're going to get him from Tassie to Wa. From there he can fly to London from either side of the country he thinks so coming up to Gympie for a visit is a possibility. Let me/him know what you think.

Take care
Marcus

Carolyn said...

LOL! I've got a few years yet, but thanks for the warning!

Hope your Easter is great :D

The Heir said...

Something to look forward to when you reach 50 eh grampa ;)
I have a proposition for you...
I am back in Oz from the 2nd May and have hollidays from the 18th, going back to Perth for a bit but was thinking that as my return to the UK is not booked yet- v organised as usual -i was wondering if you'd like to shout me a trip to Queensland and we could have our birthdays together? ...throw one last party the neighbours will notice, start a riot, get arrested; not as difficult as you might think ;) i think there's some cheap flights going too, get in touch with me soon, would really love to work in a visit!! Love ya Grampa!!
Zachariah

Cliff Morrow said...

The one about secrets really hit home wth me. I keep secrets well because I forget most of them. Some funny stuff here Peter.

StringMan said...

Those are good. You might also add "Reads the obituaries to keep up on news about friends."