Happy Easter

Sorry this post is a bit late, "Bin Havinputertruble" paid me a visit.

Hi to all, I hope you have a wonderful Easter break,to those who don’t
celebrate Easter, DO NOT take Friday and Monday off from work,
that might corrupt your morals.

Please if you are traveling on the roads over Easter,take care, sadly
this is one of the worst times of the year for road accidents.

If you are visiting family or friends I hope you have a great visit,
and no matter what you are doing, come back safe, sound, and
refreshed.

This isn’t a racist opinion, it’s just a bloody funny joke.

An Australian aboriginal  walks  into the local welfare office, marches
straight up to the counter and  says, "Hi... you know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

 The social worker behind the counter says, 
"Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy
old man who wants chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive her around in the Mercedes, but he'll supply all of
your  clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be  provided. You'll
be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to
satisfy her s*xual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom  apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

 The aboriginal says, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!"

 Social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started  it."

With age comes wisdom ... 

 A  guy  is  81 years old and loves to fish.  He was sitting in his boat the
other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around
and couldn't see any one.  He thought he was dreaming when he  heard  
the  voice  say again, "Pick me up."  He looked in the water and there,
floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?" 

 The  frog  said,  "Yes, I'm talking to you.  Pick me up.  Then, kiss me
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.  I'll
then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."

The  man  looked  at  the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it
up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then  the  frog said, "What, are you nuts?  Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."

He  opened  his pocket,  looked  at the frog and said,
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."