"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Happy Easter

Sorry this post is a bit late, "Bin Havinputertruble" paid me a visit.

Hi to all, I hope you have a wonderful Easter break,to those who don’t
celebrate Easter, DO NOT take Friday and Monday off from work,
that might corrupt your morals.

Please if you are traveling on the roads over Easter,take care, sadly
this is one of the worst times of the year for road accidents.

If you are visiting family or friends I hope you have a great visit,
and no matter what you are doing, come back safe, sound, and
refreshed.


This isn’t a racist opinion, it’s just a bloody funny joke.
An Australian aboriginal  walks  into the local welfare office, marches
straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... you know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
 The social worker behind the counter says, 
"Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy
old man who wants chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.
You'll have to drive her around in the Mercedes, but he'll supply all of
your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll
be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to
satisfy her s*xual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
 The aboriginal says, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!"
 Social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started  it."

With age comes wisdom ... 
 A  guy  is  81 years old and loves to fish.  He was sitting in his boat the
other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around
and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard
the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there,
floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?" 
 The  frog  said,  "Yes, I'm talking to you.  Pick me up.  Then, kiss me
and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll
then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."
The  man  looked  at  the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it
up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then  the  frog said, "What, are you nuts?  Didn't you hear what I said?
I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."


He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

13 comments:

lyle said...

I can really relate to this one, Peter. Silly old frog!

Kelvin said...

Kia Ora (Hello) from a krazy blogger across the ditch. You have a really great blog. Can I mention your blog @ #611 on my blog - 21 21 21 !!!
I Bean Havintroubiltoo !!!

mreddie said...

That is a great line about not taking off so as not to corrupt their morals. :) ec

lyle said...

Peter, I congratulate you on your photos and descriptions of Australia. These are interesting and informative to we Australians, and I should imagine particularly so for your overseas blogger friends. What a lot of time you must have put into all this. Bloody well done, mate!

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Good post and jokes.
I was pleased to see your comment about
my visit. It will only be a couple of days I think. Will let you know.
I checked your weather, liked what I saw
so I may stay. Cheers, Merle.

Hale McKay said...

LOL - as usual good jokes. The frog reminds me of the cartoon with the singing frog. (I'm just wild about harry...)

Jacqui said...

LOL.
I hear jokes but have problems remembering them.
Walter gave me the one I posted tonight.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Haha! Damn, I loved that first one.

Oh, and I liked this bit of satire you posted: to those who don’t
celebrate Easter, DO NOT take Friday and Monday off from work,
that might corrupt your morals.

Amen!

Marcus said...

G'day Dad

If you hear from Zac tell him to phone home.

Cheers

OldHorsetailSnake said...

These are two of the best I've read for a long time, Peter. Congrats.

StringMan said...

Funny jokes, Peter! That Aboriginal one is a gem. Happy Easter to you and yours, mate!

bornfool said...

lol. Darn, I was wanting a job like that.

Cliff Morrow said...

Peter, I loved the first one. The second one is goodun too. I've told that in front of banquet crowds and it's always a hit.
Happy Easter to ya mate.
Do they have smoked hams for Easter down there??