"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, April 28, 2006

A Letter From Ron.

My son Marcus of holtpress has just got home to
Busselton after a trip to Uluru, (Ayers Rock) there are lots
of photos of the adventure if you would like to have a look
click on the link.

**********************

This one worries me a little, while my name isn't Ron, my
Ex's name is Julie..... Nah it doesn't sound like me....
Does it?


A letter from Ron,
Dated May 26th

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow
older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same
quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.


My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation
with my wife, Julie. When I took "early retirement" last year,
it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was
beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from the golf course about the same time
she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry
I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour
or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead,
I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets
dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill
at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.
But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for
several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically
reminding her several times each evening that they won't
clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it
does seem to motivate her to get them done before she
goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For
example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to
pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we
take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer
encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even
three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also
remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to
think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more
rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half
finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair
man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly
squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as
she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for
me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support
Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is
easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get
as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little
more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of
this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.
After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....

Signed,

Ron

EDITOR'S NOTE: Ron died suddenly on May 27th.
The police report says that he was found with a Calloway
extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed
up his ass, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife
Julie was arrested and charged with murder;
however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty,
accepting her defense that he accidentally sat down on
it very suddenly.


Fairy tale for adult women.


This is the fairy tale that we should have been reading as
little girls!

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful,
independent self-assured

Princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in
a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said:
Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil
witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I
am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up
housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you
can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, as the Princess dined sumptuously on lightly
sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion
cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself.


I don't f#&0=$@ think so.


18 comments:

Latigo Flint said...

Accidentally sitting on extra long golf clubs isn't much fun at all.

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Both good stories. I think
Ron was lucky to survive as long as he
did. I hope he doesn't represent most
men. Cheers, Merle.

Jacqui said...

Funny stories, I couldn't help LOL.

Thanks for the encouragement about my story. Your right it does get easier, as long as I keep doing it.

JunieRose2005 said...

LOL, Peter,

Very funny - both!

June

poopie said...

Men are from Mars and women are from..uh, where exactly?

Karen said...

ROFL Ron got what he deserved ;-) Thanks for the chuckles. Have a fantastic weekend!

Jamie Dawn said...

Frog legs sound mighty goooooood to me!

I would have voted NOT guilty for Julie too.
Her thoughtful, helpful husband was a putz!

Maria said...

Hey, he didn't die or at least he is resurrected in a number of homes around here!

The Princess has it right. Loved the story.

Hale McKay said...

It could have been worse for old Ron. His wife could've been a Princess.

LZ Blogger said...

Some princess's just can't take a joke! ~ jb///

StringMan said...

Man, I was laughing all the way through Ron's letter! Funny, funny, funny. Sitting on the club was the capper.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Excellent post! MOST excellent. *bowing*

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Thanks for the laugh.... that was a very funny post.

Cliff Morrow said...

I've come close to sitting on my driver a couple of times. Great stories Peter.

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ I see you cannot spell
Goondiwindi either. I knew mine did not
look right but was too tired to lok up the Post-code book. Cheers, Merle.

Craig 'n' Jen said...

Love it ... Both stories were great!

Big Dave T said...

I'm going to show that first letter to my wife. I'll be a saint in her eyes then.

Both great stories, though. Thanks.

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ I was hesitant to put that
Little Tony post on, but the deed is done now. But I am still your refined
big sister. cya Merle.