"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Calvin and Hobbes


Judy (kenju) was missing the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon strip
lately, here are some to get you giggling Judy.



Here's something different, Blonde jokes, you don't see them very
often do you?


How did the blond explain how his helicopter crashed?
He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan.

Why did the blond quit his job as a restroom attendant?
He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

Did you hear about the blond who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night

Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000
leagues under the sea?
She said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there
were so many teams.

Blonde: I was born in the U.S.
Friend: Oh really, what part?
Blonde: All of me, silly.

A blonde's house is on fire when she pulls up to her residence in the
country. From her cell phone, she calls the fire department in a
panic.
The dispatcher tells her to settle down; they need to know how to
get to her house. The blonde replies, "Duh, in your big red
fire truck."

How do you confuse a blond?
You don't have to. They're born that way.

What did the blonde do with her assole in the morning?
Packed his lunch and sent him to work.

Did you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the
Olympics?
She had it bronzed.

Hear about the blond explorer?
He bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the

Sahara
Desert
.

Did you hear about the blond who thought nitrates were
cheaper than day rates?

Why couldn't the blond write the number ELEVEN?
He didn't know which ONE came first.

What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
Third grade.

What do you call a blond in an institution of higher learning?
A visitor.

Why did the blonde stay up all night studying?
She had a urine test the next day.

What does 'XXX' stand for?
Three blondes co-signing a note!

A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in kindergarten; which
one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18.

A dumb blonde was bragging about his knowledge of the state
capitals.
He proudly said, "go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A redhead said, "O.K., what's the capital of
Wisconsin?"
The blond replied, "Oh, that's easy - 'W'."

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blond hair?
Last year's Hide and Seek winner

BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's
3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I
have been asking that question all day, and each time I get
a different answer."

Why was the blonde disappointed?
Because she found out that 'Phillips 14 inch' was a TV.

Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
She wanted to stop having grandchildren.

The three finalists in the Women's Olympic swim meet were
all novices to international competition. However, all had
excelled during the early going, and after several heats the
score was tied; the first match employing the breast stroke
would decide the winner. The gunsounded, and the three
young women dove into the water.
Nancy finished first,
crossing the pool in five seconds flat; Jean finished
less than half a second later. Bringing up the rear was Mary,
a blonde, who finished a full ten seconds after the others.
As she completed the lap and climbed from the pool, she
sputtered, "I protest! The other women were using their arms!"

A blond guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young
woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him,
"Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian."
The blond goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of
Lesbia are you from?"

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same
job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work
for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.
At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted three miles,
the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted
10 miles .

The boss was so excited he told her to keep it up and the job
was hers. The next day, the redhead painted five miles and the
brunette 5.6 miles and the blonde four miles he told her not to
worry you still have a good lead. So, on the third day the redhead
had painted six miles, the brunette five miles and the blonde
only one mile.

The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went
wrong, you were doing so well?" She said, "Well, that bucket of
paint keeps getting further and further away."



16 comments:

JunieRose2005 said...

great blonde jokes, Peter!

... and I'm happy to see they are not all blonde WOMEN jokes! :)

June

Lucy said...

This was fabulous.. i enjoyed it so much...

HA HA HA.

Miss Cellania said...

Funny, yes, and that bucket just keeps getting further and further...

HORIZON said...

Thank God l'm a brunette.
My sis is blonde though- better check the closet!

Raggedy said...

I am a Calvin and Hobbes fan too! It was wonderful to see them here today. ^5

It was nice that some of the blond jokes were about men. I have not heard many male blond jokes...lol

Why did the blond nurse take a red magic marker to work?

In case she needed to DRAW blood.

^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Marti said...

Even though I am one, I love blonde jokes (especially nice to see some with male blondes- LOL)

Thanks for sharing!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Thanks for Calvin. LOTS of us miss him and Hobbes.

Jon Cox said...

Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!
Awesome post! You're blog is REALLY great! :o)

bornfool said...

Great blond jokes, Peter. I noticed some of them were blond men. You're an equal opportunity jokester.

Hale McKay said...

I loved those Calvin toons with the snowmen.
,,,Just when you think you've heard all the blonde jokes, you manage to find some new ones (for me.)

kenju said...

Peter, thanks for the cartoons and the mention. I loved all of them, and the jokes were great too!

Jon Cox said...

Thank you for your comment and for visiting my blog as well! :o)

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter
Great jokes , had a few giggles.
Take Care. Jan

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ I enjoyed your blonde jokes.
I hope you and Warren have a nice weekend. Hi Warren !! Also I hope you
found Margaret well, she and I have exchanged a few letters. She seems to be doing well. Kath's daughter Kerry rang me the other night and said the cancer has returned to her brain. They are trying to work out if it's operable.
So not good, though she recovered well last time, but she is not good.
Cheers for now, Merle. Bye Warren.
Thanks for all the goodies!!

Carolyn said...

A bucket of laughs, Peter!! Thanks! LOL ;D

Lyle said...

Peter, you didn't tell Merle you saw me!

I appreciated the difference between 'blond' and 'blonde'. I am proud of you. They were great.