The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).
No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Further over the hill.
There's some good news and some bad news!!
You're Over the hill when..... You trade in your sporty
sheepskin car seat covers for orthopedic ones made of
those woode massaging balls.
Maybe this isn't all bad though?
You're over the hill when... You don't have the foggiest
idea what "Hootie and the Blowfish" is
It's all just too hard keeping up with all this new stuff,
though god knows you try your best, the changes in the
language happen so quickly it can make your head spin.
Speaking of changes to the language, these will test you
Believe me I have tossed up about posting these insults
and have even edited out a couple, but we are all adults!!
"I hope your ears turn into arseholes and shit on
"Not enough brains to give himself a headache!"
"About as useful as tits on a bull."
"You must be the world's only living brain donor."
"He's a few wanks short of an orgasm."
"She had more pricks than a second hand
"He had a head on him like a sucked mango."
"May your chooks turn into emus and kick your
"He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
"So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him
'til the bell rang!"
"Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
"As ugly as a hat full of arseholes."
"Got a face like a bashed in shit can."
"Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground."
"About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."
"I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!"
"A stubbie short of a six pack."
"Tighter than a fish's arse."
"So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him."
"As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
"He could talk a dog off a meatwagon."
"You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie."
"He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door."
"Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."
"Your face is like a twisted ugg boot."
"She's been hit with the ugly stick too many times."
"She's two pick handles wide."
"An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."
"As ugly as a bag of spanners."
"You've got a head like a dropped pie."
"He thinks his shit don't stink, but his farts give him
"I wish his dad had settled for a blow job."
"If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it."
"As thick as two short planks!"
"You got a head like a busted watermelon"
There's no doubt about it, we certainly do have a
way with words here in Australia.