"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

More Awesome Melons


More awesome melons for your approval.


Just for a new twist on an old theme, try this one.

Ah, yes, now we get to the talented ones again.

Melon connoisseur's come in all shapes and sizes,
much like melons do.


You're never too young to start it seems.

Anyone for the Tango? brilliant melon carving again.

Adult Nursery Rhymes.

Mary had a little pig
She kept it fat and plastered
And when the price of pork went up
She shot the little bastard.


Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.


Mary had a little lamb
With it she used to sleep
That lamb turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a sheep.


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun
Silly Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.


Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair
Said simple Simon to the pie man
“What have you got there?”
Said the pie man unto Simon
“Pies, you dumb *^#$%”


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king’s horses
And all the king’s men
Had scrambled eggs
For breakfast again.


Hey diddle, diddle the cat took a piddle
All over the bedside clock
The little dog laughed to see such fun
Then died of electric shock.


Georgie Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
And when the boys came out to play
He kissed them too ‘cause he was gay.


There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was very, very good
But when she was bad….
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a
sports car.



Exclusive Clubs.

The days of the exclusively male clubs of the past seem to
have run their course by and large, no doubt some still exist
but the number and strength of Men’s Clubs has diminished.

With this in mind I was surprised to learn of a new trend that
has sprung up, if you think that gender specific venues went
out with gentlemen’s clubs, think again, Women only fitness
centres are a fast growing trend.

Their motto is, No Tom’s, No Harry’s, and definitely
No Dicks.

These women only Gyms are born out of a more accepting
and less competitive atmosphere say their advocates.

There are less mirrors and fewer perfectly toned bodies,
more nurturing attitudes.


10 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ The sculpures are very clever, and some of the nursery rhymes
are funny. As Meow said "Naughty but nice"? Take care, Merle.

Isn't it terrific that Jan has joined
us, and her first posts were great.

Big Dave T said...

Curves is a women's fitness center that has sprung up in even the smallest communities.

That picture of the kid taking a peek next door was hilarious.

Ava said...

melons ... melons ... melons! What a great post!

jules said...

Made me laugh, Petey Baby. Thanks.

Hale McKay said...

Ah - the Nursery Ryhmes!

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone,
But when she bent over,
Rover drove her.
Rover had a bone of his own.

DellaB said...

yay Peter... you've been busy... great stuff, thanks
Della

LZ Blogger said...

Peter ~ Funny stuff here! I loved the one with the young boy and what his eyes are focused on with laser clarity! ~ jb///

Cliff Morrow said...

Very heartwarming nursery rhymes. I'm not sure those were the same versions I learned on my Mothers knee.

Maria said...

Definitely didn't teach those versions of Nursery Rhymes, but I did teach about Tom, Dick, and Harry in a math lesson that went terribly wrong.

I wrote about it today and gave a link to your site. Thanks for jogging my memory about something that happened years ago.

Carol said...

Peter,

Isn't "melon" carving just a wonderful thing - be it on fruit or the human body !!!

(Q)What did the 18yr old "melons" say to the 50yr old "Melons"??
(A) I see your heading South for the duration!!
***********
I don't remember you telling me nursery rhymes like these when I was younger!!