"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Sayings on Sex.


It’s often interesting to hear what famous people have to say on various topics,
and if they are talking about sex it becomes even more interesting.

So with that in mind here are a few comments made bythe rich and famous,
and one by me, (who is neither rich or famous, but it’s my BLOG.)

Sayings on Sex.

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen


"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield




“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner




"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Camille Paglia




"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation.
The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns




"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone



"Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods



"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a- bitch."
Jack Nicholson



"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush
(Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)



"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet."
Robin Williams



"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal



"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,
men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro



"There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex
condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman




"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know
what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld



"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams





"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers



"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
money can buy."
Steve Martin




"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips


“Bridge is a game where a good deal depends on a good deal”
Peter Holt


12 comments:

Miss Cellania said...

Did that last one have anything to do with sex?

Karen said...

ROFL those were great!! The shooting pool with a rope cracked me up!

Have a great day!!

bornfool said...

Great quotes, Peter. I think i like Woody Allen's the best.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Your own "saying" is one of the best!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You remember the old punch line: "You didn't come out here for the hunting, did you?"

Ho.

Cliff Morrow said...

My bride and I were in the car tonight and I couldn't understand the first letter of the word. Was it F or S? I said, " Are you saying S as in Sex?" She replied, "No I'm saying S as in maybe Someday."
It does make life interesting.

Raggedy said...

Hugsssssssssssssss

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Lucky I checked here before posting, as I was going to put these on.
I will find some other things. I could not raise Mozilla for about 4 hours so am a bit behind. I read e-mails and could not reply or anything. All I need now is for Blogger to be contrary.
Take care, Merle.

Jamie Dawn said...

I like the shooting pool with a rope one.

You made that last one up, and I have no idea what it means.

Big Dave T said...

All right! Quoting Emo Phillips, I see. It is Emo and not Elmo, BTW. The wife and I saw him in Ann Arbor last year. She didn't appreciate his humor, but you do and so do I.

StringMan said...

Every one of those was a winner. The first one by Woody (what an ironic name in this context) was what I thought would be the funniest, but they kept getting better and better. Barbara Bush's on Clinton was both funny and TRUE!

Hale McKay said...

Just saying sex is a great saying. - Mike Ashley