"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Life Cycle


When It comes to a study of our life cycles the "Wheels" we
use
define us fairly well.


Our progress can certainly be traced by the wheels we are using
at any stage of our lives.


Of course wheels are not the only defining element, a lot can be
told by the stance we take on certain things.


It is entirely possible to design the perfect vehicle to suit almost
any occasion, in these days of high gas prices and uncertain
movements, this may well be the perfect vehicle at a given point
in time.

We should also try to be adaptable to the changing role we play in
todays world.
*********************************************

The following story probably comes under "petty revenge" for the
hiding the New Zealand All Blacks gave the Wallabies tonight in
the Bledisloe Cup which is an important event on the rugby
calander in this neck of the woods.

Kiwis Are Not Stupid.


50,000 Kiwis meet in
Eden Park for a "Kiwis Are Not Stupid" Convention.

Prime Minister Helen Clark says, "We are all here today to prove to the world
thet Kiwis are not stupid. Ken I hev a volunteer."

Carlos Spencer (well known to Rugby fans) gingerly works his way through the
crowd and steps up to the stage. Helen asks him,

"What uz fufteen plus fufteen?" After fufteen or 20 seconds Carlos says,
"Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then all 50,000 Kiwis start chanting,

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen says, "Well sunce we've gone to the trouble of gitting 50,000 of you un
one place end we have the world wide priss end global broadcast media here,
I thunk we ken guv hum another chance." So she asks,

"What uz sivven plus sivven?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says,
"Ninety!" Helen is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh,
everyone is disheartened.

Carlos starts crying and the 50,000 Kiwis begin to yell and wave their hands
shouting,

"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Helen, unsure whether or not she is doing more harm than good, eventually
says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance...What uz two
plus two?"


Carlos closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says,
"Four!"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 50,000
Kiwis jump to their feet, wave their arms, stamp their feet and scream....................



"GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE! GUV HUM ANOTHER CHANCE!"


10 comments:

Lucy said...

Progress 'eh. Except in the stands.

Anonymous said...

Nah, it ain't true what Peter said about me on the 6th. It's all bulls**t as I'm really quite shy and withdrawn, and it's only when Peter is around that he brings out the "devil" in me.
Jamie Dawn wondered if there were any stories about Peter, waal I can tell you there's heaps of them altho' most are not worth repeating in polite company, but here's one of them:-

In 2003 Peter and I decided to drive up to Lake Tinaroo (just outside of Atherton) as there was all year round Barra fishing at Tinaroo.
We were going to stay at Tinaroo for a week. We hauled a tinnie behind the car (not the Discovery as this was now long gone) and arrived to be greeted by overcast rainy conditions.
1st morning it rained all day – no fishing.
2nd day overcast and showers so we did the tourist thing and drove around looking at the wet sights.
3rd day was okay so out came the tinnie and off we went. We had been told that the best spot for barra was amongst the drowned timberline, so we powered the tinnie in amongst the fallen trees and cast out. Hum not a lot of bites although a lot of fish were showing on the fish sounder. An hour of no bites, so we up anchored and went to another potential spot. Hum no bites. Up came the anchor. Mumble, mumble.
We had the gear, lures, bait as recommended by the bait shop, so we decided to troll some lures. No luck. We saw a lot of Lake Tinaroo, just not a lot of fish!!
Eureka finally I had a strike, and with trembling hands I landed the huge (not) bream. Hey it wasn’t even big enough to be a keeper, altho’ Peter decided to use the poor (sob) little fella as bait, not that this helped us at all.
After five hours we decided to go back to the motel and drown our sorrows with a few ales.
4th day. Guess what it was raining, altho by the afternoon the weather had cleared enough for us to get back into the tinnie. We cast, we trolled, and we mumbled, we looked at the fish on the sounder and decided this was a faulty sounder, giving us false images and false hope. Four hours later and a few nibbles but no hauling in, we admitted defeat and slunk back to the motel. Mumble, mumble.
5th day the rain altho’ not very heavy was not attractive to get into the tinnie so off we went for some more tourist attractions. The showers and rain stayed with us all day.
6th day more rain, so we decided to go down to the dam wall to try our luck where Peter and Julie had previously caught some fish. We fished while the showers kept us from being dry and after a couple of hours we decided to turn to duck hunting, elk hunting, crocodile hunting, buffalo hunting, anything but fish hunting as we decided we’d properly have more luck with this sort of sport.
7th day and more rain and it was time to move onto Cairns.
We later heard that the week we were there not much was being caught (dah as if we didn’t know that), but hey the next week the barra were jumping into the boats.
Ah the joys of fishing.

Footnote: Me and a friend went up to Cairns in March this year and hired a car. It was raining when we arrived. The next day it was showering but we decided to drive down to Atherton and to Lake Tinaroo. Guess what? It was overcast and raining.
Two weeks later Cyclone Larry wiped out a lot of Innisfail and damaged some of Atherton and the surrounding areas. Nah, I’m not really a JINX, just (sob) unlucky.
Must be the folks I go with. Hup, two, three, four, everybody is out of step except me.

Jacqui said...

Hi Peter, really loved the Kiwi story, I LOL at that one.
Great story Warren, no you are not the jinx, it's just the company you keep.
cheers jacqui

Theresa said...

I loved the wheels of life! It's so true!

Raggedy said...

Good Post Peter. Good Story Warren.
I guess y'all don't have weather forcast there eh?
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one
*

JunieRose2005 said...

lol0

I enjoyed the story, Warren!

JunieRose

Ms. Vickie said...

Peter you always bring a smile to my face.
Thank you my friend for sharing as you do.
You are a great on. Hope you enjoy your
weekend and may you do something very
special just for YOU.

kenju said...

Love the cartoons, Peter. They are, unfortunately, all too true.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I loved Warren's rebuttal to your July 6 post...very funny and at least he has a good story to tell about not catching any fish...and maybe being the cause of Cyclone Larry???

DellaB said...

... now THAT'S funny -- HAHAHAHAHA!