"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, July 14, 2006

This post is not about menopause

For no particular reason this cartoon tickled my fancy.

Hi folks, I had no idea what to post about today so when I found
this cartoon and actually laughed out loud at it I thought, that's
the starting point.

It wasn't a big stretch to go from there to the new drugs that are
coming to a drugstore near you very soon.

NEW DRUGS.

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's
society.


DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when
they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.


PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more
likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting
a new one.


CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden,
over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially
cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.


COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle.
Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing.


BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden
urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking
this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can
be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return
limit.


NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra.

Currently undergoing clinical trials on ex U.S. presidents.


NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making
men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with
other family members.


FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious
intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus:
Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.


FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating
men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men
on Viagra.


PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the
test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of
other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects
into "special prosecutors."


LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when
being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in
Regular,
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.



Makes you wonder how marriage survives.

An old man and woman were married for many years, even
though they hated each other. When they had a
confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep
into the night The old man would shout, "When I die, I will
dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and
haunt you for the rest of your life!"


Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black
magic,because of the many strange occurrences that took
place in their neighborhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared.


To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was
68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake.


After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and
began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her
neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you
afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and
out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest
of your life?


"The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had
him buried facing down..."



6 comments:

Val said...

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids.
Must get this for my sons (early 20s, they should have outgrown this by now): let's say they conduct flatulence contests as a sport, comparing volume and aroma levels.

Val said...

Oh, and forgot to say: thanks for the laughs. I have actually been thinking of linking from my blog some posts with jokes. Merle in Shepparton is another one who posts good jokes.

Raggedy said...

*wink *wink all fixed! WTG!

Raggedy said...

raggedycats@hotmail.com

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ These were funny. I typed 3 e mails to you this evening and they wont send, I'll try tomorrow. I was able to post comments and haven't had trouble
with e mails before (or not for yonks)
Had trouble getting a post on tonight and then got it on 3 times. And this is fun? Take care, Merle.

Maria said...

The seven dwarves of menopause is too, too true. As for the wife who buried the scary husband face down. . . smart woman.

A few good laughs sure can raise the spirits!