"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Aussie Computer Terminology


Are we convinced by this story?

Seeing how I have been so totally engrossed by my computer lately,
and seeing I
have found a spare 5 minutes before I leave for
Brisbane (180 km away) to pick
up my favourite Daughter
and Son in-law from the airport, I thought I would put up
a quick post and to stay with the computer image for a
while longer, what better subject?

Some of you may recall that this weekend is when the
Gympie
Muster is on, and that Vicki and Rex are coming
from interstate to
visit for a few days. Yee-Haw!!!


Rural Australian Computer Terminology.


A bit of Aussie culcha to start the day off.

(barbie = bar-b-que, ute = pickup truck, cold tinnies = cold cans
of beer, mozzies = mosquitoes, pub = Bar, counter lunch = meal
at the pub.


LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any
cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE: What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A bar snack.

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten
the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eat's the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter
lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keep's borrowing things.

NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the
fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole
in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing end's up when the pegs
aren't strong enough.



Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces
to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and
make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists
on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."




21 comments:

Jack K. said...

I needed a laugh and I got a bunch of them.

Thanks.

LMAO

Ms. Vickie said...

Thanks for the laughs, I enjoyed these today.

No_Newz said...

Have fun and enjoy your visitors. Thanks for the giggles.
Lois Lane

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Good jokes there. Glad you liked some of my posts.
Say Hello to Vicki and Rex. I hope you all have a great time at the muster, and I hope the weather is kind for it. Have fun Enjoy, Love,
Merle.

Jim said...

That praying fellow should have had a demonstration from the saleslady in the cartoon!
Then he would know what to do. Maybe she was giving samples too and he could've been spared the trip to the drugstore.
..

Hale McKay said...

Havec a good time Peter. You left us some good ones today.

By the way, thanks for the advice in your comments at my place. I think? I have it under control now.

Marcus said...

hahaha Didn't see that coming!

The new blog seems to look ok but it sure makes an awful noise, hope you can fix whatever the problem is!

G'day Sis and Rex

Luyc said...

Oh poor boy. That was funnY !!

safe travels - how do you say it in aussie talk?

Raggedy said...

That was so funny!
hahahahahaha!
Thanks for the laughs...
Have a great day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Carolyn said...

Good stuff, lol!! ;D

Cliff Morrow said...

Happy Days are here Again for ol Peter. Have a great weekend with the fam at the Muster. That is if you muster up the courage to go.

Maria said...

Yes have a great time with your family and hey, I never knew what a Ute was so now I can hardly wait to ask someone to move theirs.

Loved the jokes. Someone else said they needed a good laugh. Me, too and these certainly brought a smile or two my way.

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter
A few chuckles here with your Aussie Culcha
Hope you aveagoodweekend at the musta with Vicki and Rex Take care have fun Jan

jules said...

Love the cartoon. Enjoy your visit with the kids.

Christina said...

Good stuff. LMAO!

Jamie Dawn said...

I hope the time spent with your daughter and her hubby has been good.
The condom demo cartoon is so funny. Her excuse is pretty darned smart if you ask me.
I have no idea what a ute is, or a mozzie.
I'm not up to date on my Aussie talk.

I received a blog visit from a delightful blogger from Aussie. I left a couple of comments at her place and told her about your blog.
I hope you will give her a visit:

http://barefootintheparkblog.blogspot.com/

Big Dave T said...

Ah, Australian humor. Almost as good as American. (just kidding) Brisbane. Wondering if that's anywhere near Porpoise Spit, where Muriel Heslop, of Muriel's Wedding, resided with her family. We just watched that movie last night.

Karen said...

Peter! Greetings from a girly cyber slumber party where we're doing some drive-by commenting on men's blogs, of course, you are on our list :-D

I hope you're having a great weekend!

Monica said...

Hi, heard you were a cute Sweetie from down under! You're one of the Chosen Few from our cyber slumber party...have a great weekend!

3rd daughter said...

visiting via the slumber party! at last an aussie blog to leave a drive by comment on! love the aussie techno-talk.

Ms. Vickie said...

You got another visit from the slumber party but you know I likes you anyway...Take care my friend.