Aussie Computer Terminology

Are we convinced by this story?

Seeing how I have been so totally engrossed by my computer lately,
and seeing I have found a spare 5 minutes before I leave for
Brisbane (180 km away) to pick up my favourite Daughter
and Son in-law from the airport, I thought I would put up
a quick post and to stay with the computer image for a
while longer, what better subject?

Some of you may recall that this weekend is when the
Gympie Muster is on, and that Vicki and Rex are coming
from interstate to visit for a few days. Yee-Haw!!!

Rural Australian Computer Terminology.


A bit of Aussie culcha to start the day off.

(barbie = bar-b-que, ute = pickup truck, cold tinnies = cold cans
of beer, mozzies = mosquitoes, pub = Bar, counter lunch = meal
at the pub.

LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any
cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE: What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A bar snack.

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten
the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eat's the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter
lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the
counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keep's borrowing things.

NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the
fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole
in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing end's up when the pegs
aren't strong enough.

Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents.

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces
to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and
make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists
on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."