"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Union Rules.

There's nothing like an old swinger to get your toes tappin'.


Union rules.

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in
Las
Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a
union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down
the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the
Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house, we observe
all union rules."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed
to a stunningly attractive blonde.
"I'd like her," he said.
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured
to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67
years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."


Never Tick Off a Nurse.


A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.

He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have
anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your
temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,
crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't
use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he
rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert
the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something.
Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out! He curses
under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's
going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you
ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation".


12 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~ Loved the second joke as I had not seen it before. I see Margaret
has still not got going yet, which is a shame as I am sure it will be good for her. Take care, Merle.

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter
Great jokes roflmao.
Thank you for comments, I agree Litchfield is much nicer than Kakadu.When Alan and I were in Darwin a few years ago 1 of the Ministers of parliament was there .(I cant remember who it was)made headlines in the Northern Territory Newspaper By saying Kakadu Dont , Litchfield Do.
Take Care Jan

Jim said...

Hi Peter -- Nurses rule too. That one probably had 67 years senority also.
Margaret paid me a visit yesterday. She isn't writing again yet, what is her high speed status?
..

Carolyn said...

Great- both of them! Having worked for several bossy attorneys, I might have had to use a thorny rose though ;D

PI said...

Both those gave me a chuckle. Think I'll just mosey over to your photo site whilst I'm here.

Marti said...

Very funny! Thanks for the giggles! Hope you have a terrific day!

Karen said...

That shaker sure is shakin' LOL Where's the male version? ;-)

Have a great day and thanks for the laughs!

JunieRose said...

:)... that last joke is very funny!!
Lol- and like Carolyn, I also thought of a rose...(however, it might have alerted the patient that something was not right!! haha)


June

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I liked all the jokes today. I usually just have one that stands out, but today I liked them all. I can just picture that guy with the carnation in his bum.

Raggedy said...

I saw both of these before. They were great and worth another read.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Christina said...

I'm not a nurse, but do work in the health care industry.

hahahahahahahaha!

Jack K. said...

Loved the jokes.

The last one about the attorney and the nurse was a direct lift from the British film, "Carry on Nurse". It is still hilarious.

Thanks.