Union Rules.

There's nothing like an old swinger to get your toes tappin'.

Union rules.

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in
Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a
union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down
the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the
Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house, we observe
all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed
to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured
to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67
years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."

Never Tick Off a Nurse.

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.

He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have
anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your
temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,
crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't
use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he
rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert
the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something.
Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out! He curses
under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.

After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's
going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you
ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation".