"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Love Your Job

I can't think of a good reason for this pic with this particular post
except maybe that Charles is a bit of an Ass.

Love your job.

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have
a bad day at work...think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of
my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool...

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial 'water heater'; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps
it down to the diver through a hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was
going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course,
I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what
had happened.

The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.

However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear
due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because
my ass was swollen shut.

Love Rob

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.



1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.


6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.


The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls


Merle said...

Hi Peter ~ Good post, I liked the
corporate ladder. My post looks OK tonight, wonder if it still will tomorrow. Take care, Merle.

JunieRose2005 said...


WELL...that guy really had a problem!!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Jelly fish stings to the butt crack make hemorrhoids sound like a walk in the park.
Funny and AWFUL at the same time!!!!

Shrinking balls huh? I guess being low on the totem pole ain't so bad after all.

Big Dave T said...

That's why I stick to Michigan. No jellyfish in the Great Lakes.

Wanted to make sure it was still Holtieshouse here. I read somewhere that Aborigines had won rights to land there down under.

Miss Cellania said...

Oh mna, Peter, you've come up with two that I'd never heard before! And they are hilarious!

Christina said...


Jim said...

From our office window one day we watched an asphalt pavement roller machine (we used to call them steam rollers) slowly back into a bayou.
We had quite a time speculating what he said when he got home and was asked how his day went.

I'm finding these retired people here play a lot of golf too.

Joy DJ said...

Peter, I'm still laughing...wonderful. I look at that picture of Charles, Diana and Camilla...and I'm thinking the same thing you are. I don't get it...I NEVER got it!

BTW...I love your picture cube.

Jeanette said...

HI Peter
Well im not in a coma I laughed out loud "OUCH".
I'll take the bowling

Hale McKay said...

I most assuredly am in no coma. That was one of the funniest real life accounts I have ever read!

I had to re-read the rest of you post several times, I kept losing my olace, because I was still laughing about the jellyfish up the man's ass!

Cazz said...

Hi Peter,

Still laughing over the jellyfish, great post.

Your playing one of my favorite Elvis songs, I have just been sitting here listening to it over and over.

Hope you had a great week end