"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Sunday Night Scraps.


Been to busy to blog.... Now that's busy!!!



I have not been able to post for a few days because I've been busy
coaching my good friend Margaret in the subtle ways of Beta Blogger,
now I'm not complaining mind you we had a very nice couple of days,
and the pleasure of some mutual friends for a bar-b-que on Saturday

evening put a nice seal on the weekend.

By The Way, we BOTH learned a lot more about Beta Blogger, and
despite a bit of a shaky start the Google team seem to have things
pretty well in hand now, I'm finding it to be better in every way than
it's pre-decessor and a joy to use, all I need now is a Mac computor,
at least thats what I hear HERE


Funny how things work out.

Well its not a midlife crisis, but here's how things worked out for one
guy I know.


Married 32 years, he took a look at his wife one day and said,
"Honey, 32 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car,
slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV,
but I (he) got to sleep every night with a hot 20 year old.

Now, I (he) have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma
screen TV, but am sleeping with a 52 year old woman.
It seems to me (him) that you (she) are not holding up your
side of things."


Of course this conveniently ignores who SHE was sleeping
with, but never mind that.


His wife is a very reasonable woman.
She told him to go out and find a hot 20 year old blond to
sleep with, and she would make sure that he would once
again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car,
sleeping on a sofa bed, and not have anything nicer than
a 10 inch black and white TV ....




Protesters beware.


Here's a quote from a person who witnessed a recent interaction
between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a train
station in Sydney


"There were protesters on the train platform handing out
pamphlets on the evils of Australia.

I politely declined to take one.

An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator
and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet,
which she politely declined.

The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as
a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, "Lady, don't you
care about the children of Iraq?"

The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my father died in
France
during World War II.
I lost my husband in Korea and a son in Vietnam.
All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad
mouth our country.

If you touch me again. I'll stick this umbrella up your arse and
open it."

God Bless Australia!!

Now don't you feel you want to do that to every demonstrator?!



Always Do Your Homework.


A middle school science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,
"Which Human body part increases to 10 times its size when
stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said,
"You Should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm
going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal,
and you'll get fired!"
She then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, "Which
body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open, and she said to those around her,
"Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,
"Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said,
"The body part that increases to 10 times its size when
stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy." Then turned to Mary and
continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

"First, you have a dirty mind.
Second, you didn't read your homework.
And third...one day you are going to be VERY, VERY disappointed."



Just like the Duke was disappointed to hear the news about Brokeback
Mountain.







12 comments:

Margaret said...

Hi Peter, Have been practising my new found skills and must refuel now. Had forgotten about not having tea. Loved the post and jokes OH! Poor John Wayne Thanks a million , have used my bloglines everything is a--go Cheers Margaret.

JunieRose2005 said...

LOL-
That classroom joke was funny!

...And I agree with Margaret...'Poor John Wayne!' :)

Junie Rose

Joy said...

I love the classroom joke Peter...very funny stuff. My husband was a huge John Wayne fan...watched all of his films many times over. Yep, I think The Duke would have said "Nope" to Brokeback.

LZ Blogger said...

Both the cartoons were FUNNY! ~ jb///

The Heir said...

Question about the camera was that it has stopped working. it will view images taken but when i try to turn it to take pictures the light goes from green to orange and the power cuts out, the lens does not detract it just dies.
Has this happened before? do you know what to do?
it was working fine till i got back from greece, seems not to be an obvious explanation)(and its definitely NOT the batteries)

Jamie Dawn said...

Good jokes! I especially like the one about the umbrella up the arse.
I'm glad you helped your friend learn about the whole beta thingie. I use a Mac computer. They are grrrrreat!

Jim said...

Hi Peter -- You are a good coach for Margaret, she is going strong!
I had heard that blonde 20-year old thing joke except for the insert ['Of course this conveniently ignores who SHE was sleeping with, but never mind that.'].
Maybe we should start a rumor about John Wayne being gay and that the reason he tried so hard to be very manly was because he didn't want to come out? You know you can't believe everything you read on blogs. Maybe I'll do it!
..

Carolyn said...

LOLOL! Thanks for a good laugh to cap off the weekend :D

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ Glad you and Margaret had a nice weekend learning all about blogging. Good jokes. Take care, Merle.

Cliff Morrow said...

Peter, I've caught up on your blog. I really got a kick out of the protestors as well as the guy who wanted a hot 20 year old.
Good stuff my man.

Gazza said...

looks like I need a crash course in this blogging caper.

coincidentally, I was going to take some shots with my digital camera. Unfortunately it didn't happen because it failed in exactly the same way as the Heirs camera. If you find out what causes this please let me know. I have changed the battery, the only thing I haven't tried is to change the memory card,I plan to do that tomorrow.

My camera is a Ricoh

audrey` said...

Hi Peter
It's so nice of you to teach your friend on how to blog =)