"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Friday, September 15, 2006

A Matter of Perspective

I can remember a time many, many years ago when my Mum told
me about fairy rings of mushrooms, it seems the fairies would come
out to play at night and in the morning there would be a ring of
mushrooms growing around their playground.... Yeah Mum... right!
Click on photos to enlarge them.

Well look what greeted me this morning when I toddled out the front
door, maybe not quite
a full circle, but certainly clear evidence that the
fairies had been for a visit last night.
This was my choice of perspective for the photo when I first saw the
mushrooms, looking down on them from the front verandah. (porch)

But then I went down the steps and took this photo from ground level,
you can probably see why I changed my mind and now prefer this shot...
Yes you're right... it captures fully my love of gardening!!

When I first saw these frogs lounging on the side of a rock pool at
Montville, I thought first of you Judy, then that this would be a very
nice photo with the white planters in the background.

Almost as an afterthought I took this one from below the frogs and
with the flowers in the background and a slightly more natural
foreground this shot is my favourite.

I bought the guitar player from a little shop at Montville as a memento
of our visit just a couple of days earlier to the Gympie Muster.
I just love the form of this little guy, he's only about 6 inches high.

However from a different perspective you can clearly see his nuts...
err ... sorry, he's nuts, but no matter how he is put together I love
him anyway.

Profile codes.

As I said it's all a matter of perspective.

Here you go, all the "codes" for the profiles...just what we need to
know when browsing the matchmaker columns!

WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish...................... 49

Adventurer............... Slept with all your friends

Athletic.................... No tits

Average looking.........Has a face like a basset hound

Beautiful................... Pathological liar

Contagious Smile........Does a lot of Ecstasy

Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor

Emotionally Secure.....Medicated

Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster

Free spirit................. Junkie

Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as a slut

Fun......................... Annoying

Gentle...................... Comatose

Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic

New-Age................... All body hair, all the time

Old-fashioned............ Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs

Open-minded............. Desperate

Outgoing................... Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate............... Sloppy drunk

Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic

Professional.............. Certified Bitch

Redhead................... Bad dye-job

Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat

Romantic.................. Looks better by candle light

Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray

Voluptuous................ Very Fat

Weight proportion w/height.. Hugely Fat

Wants Soulmate........ Stalker

Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself

Young at heart.......... Old bat


MEN'S ADS

40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old

Athletic............. Watches a lot of NASCAR

Average looking..... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back

Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of you

Free Spirit........... Banging your sister

Friendship first.... As long as friendship involves nookie

Fun...................... Good with a remote and a six pack

Good looking......... Arrogant

Very good looking..... Dumb as a board

Honest................. Pathological Liar

Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear

Likes to cuddle...... Insecure mama's boy

Mature................ Older than your father

Open-minded......... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's
not interested

Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls

Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall

Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks

Very sensitive.... Gay

Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once

Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted

Thoughtful.......... Says "Excuse me" when he farts



And finally another view that shows it's the perspective that's important


Fire Fighting In Jamacia.


A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife,
"Ya now sumptin' womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire
station...

Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.

Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.

Bell 3 rings - we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.


"From now on womon, when I say, 'Bell one' I want you to strip naked.

When I say, 'Bell two' you jump on de bed.

When I say, 'Bell three' we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."


The next night, he came home and shouted,

"Bell One" and the wife stripped naked!

"Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!

"Bell Three" and they started to make love!


After a few minutes, the wife yelled out,


"Bell Four"


"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.


She replied,


"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MON, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE!!"





16 comments:

Joanne - Little Jen said...

very clever, luv it. I'd have to be "professional.. lol"

Gazza said...

loved the checklist... Emily's boyfriend has one thing in his favour.. He follows the mighty Tigers

I can tell when the fairies have been to my place.... my clothes have been folded & my shoes have been put away.

Raggedy said...

What a great post!
I am cracking up over that last one....^5
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Cool Raggedy one

Laurie said...

Great pictures!

JunieRose2005 said...

LOL!!
Oh,my

...those lists!!!


...and that joke is HOT!

JunieRose

DellaB said...

aah Peter, once again, I love your things, and your perspective. It's no wonder we share a 'favourite' movie.

Curios though, in the dating chats, which way are you looking?
which of these descriptions would you use in your ad?

:-)
Della

Rachel said...

Thanks for the good chuckle today. That last joke was a real knee slapper!! LMBO!!!

Love the mushroom pictures too and the little guys that has a lot of nuts!!

Rachel said...

I meant, the little GUY that has a lot of nuts.

Hale McKay said...

"Bell four...." great joke! I liked the lists too - and equal treatment for both men and women.

I liked your guitar man.

Lucy said...

he he he -- first i love the hoot owl with the quote. and i love those frogs. I have frogs too - but yours are so cute! Fairies visit my yard often - but i did not know this til you explained it to me. more he he he.

The code profile -- stop that! Your revealing my secrets.

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter Hoped you picked the mushrooms , no fairies at my house
love the frog and the Romantic. ,
take care

WordWhiz said...

Fixed my blog for you per Judy's message. Yes, the frogs are SO Judy!!

I met Paul on match.com and the profile descriptions/translations you gave are dead on!! SUPER!!

kenju said...

Peter, I LOVE the frogs (second photo) and I am sorry it took me so long to get here to see them. I worked all day Thurs.,Fri., and today and slept in my chair all evening...LOL. Anyway, the frogs are posed wonderfully!!

Kelvin said...

Hello from across the ditch !!! Have you "kissed" the frog yet ? I would kiss the one with "hand on heart" - she's female !!!
As for "bell 4" - well best left unsaid........!!!

All my "old" blogs have been changed over to Blogger-Beta. Simple as - I followed what they told me to do and they said they would email me. It was all over & done with in 2 minutes - even used the same email yahoo address I had set up for the new beta blogs I created. They only made one mistake - made me 250 years old !!! (hehe) I suppose they saw my photo.

Cliff Morrow said...

You're right on with this one Peter. Maybe you can talk one of those Fairies into living with you.

jules said...

Men's ads/
Honest................. Pathological Liar

I can personally attest to this one!