The Stella Awards.

Don't you just want to pat and cuddle those cute little puppies.

There is a saying here in Australia which goes;

“Only in America” fortunately it still holds true in cases like these.

2005 Stella Awards.

The Stella Awards are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilt
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald’s in the USA.

That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, successful
lawsuits in the USA.

Here are the 2005 winners (from 5^th to 1^st place)

5^th Place (3 way tie)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas.

Was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle
tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.

The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict,
considering the misbehaving toddler was Mrs Robertson’s son.

5^th Place (3 way tie)

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles.

Won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his
hand with a Honda Accord.

Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel
of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

5^th Place (3 way tie)

Terrence Dickinson of Bristol, Pennsylvania.

Was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the
garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the
automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the
house because the door connecting the house and garage locked
when he pulled it shut.

The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickinson found himself locked in
the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found,
and a large bag of dry dog food.

He sued the home owner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him
undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.
(In my opinion this was so outrageous that it shouldhave been in
2^nd Place.)

4^th Place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas.

Was awarded$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a
chain in its owner’s fenced yard.

The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might
have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had
climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly
with a pellet gun.

3^rd Place.

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay $113,500 after Carson
slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone.)

The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her
boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2^nd Place.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware.

Successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when
she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her
two front teeth.

This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window
in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.

She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1^st Place.

This years runaway winner was;

Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski
purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago (RV) motor home. On her
first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise
control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go into the back
and make herself a sandwich.

Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owners
manual that she couldn’t actually do this.

The jury awarded her $!,750,000 plus a new motor home.

The Winnebago company actually changed their manuals on the basis
of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons
(albeit rich morons) around.

Two terrorists were chatting. One pulled out his wallet and flipped
through the photographs. "This is my oldest," he said proudly.
"He is a martyr. And this is my second oldest. He too is a martyr."

...."Ah," the second terrorist said, "They blow up so fast."