Here are three faces that we all recognize.
These appear to be circulating again and are still funny.
1. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
2. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
3. Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
4. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
5. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
6. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
7. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
8. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
9. You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.
10. Save Your Breath... You'll need it to blow up your date!
12. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
13. Grow your own dope, plant a man.
14. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
15. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
16. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
17. If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.
18. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".
Sex on MARS.
The year is 2222 and after accumulating enough
frequent flier miles, Mike and Maureen land on Mars.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all
sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock
market, if they have laptop computers, how they make
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen.
"Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.
Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to
swap partners for the night and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a
bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a
teeny, weenie member - about half an inch long and
just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.
''Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his
forehead with his palm. With each slap of his
forehead, his member grows until it's quite
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it
looks like a long pencil, it's still pretty narrow...."
''No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears.
With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until
the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and have
mad, passionate sex. The next day the couples rejoin
their normal partners and go their separate ways.
As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was damn
good. How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies. "All I got was a headache.
She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."
It's better for the whole world to know you,
even as a sex star,
than never to be known at all.