"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Mixed Nuts.

The Clinton's get a new dog.


Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.

Lituracy Ain't Everythang.

By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.

If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Like Massachusetts, only smaller.

We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Ask Us About Our Grandkids. And Our Voting Skills.

We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
( Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

We Do Amazing Things With Corn

First Of The Rectangle States

Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names

We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
And Our Republicans Are More Corrupt than Our Democrats

First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber,
Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections!

Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

At Least We're Not Michigan

Like The Play, But No Singing

Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

Se Hable Ingles

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Too liberal for the Kennedy's

Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Come Cut the Cheese!

Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.

A lot of my readers would know better than I would just how accurate
these State motto's are but I'm pretty sure about the one below.

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place

Sunset Thoughts.

A Kiwi was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a
sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he
realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two
animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus
clouds the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the
lonely Kiwi. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until
the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful
woman the man had ever seen.

She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed
her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their
evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus
clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again.

He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and,
realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman,
cautiously, and whispered in her ear,

"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"


Raggedy said...

Funny Stuff here today Peter.
Erm, Umm, I want to know why all the states except mine get a bold text. hmmm?
We really are a state, we really are.
Still laughing at the punch line, Would you take my dog for a walk?

Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Puss-in-Boots said...

Great mottoes, Peter. Wonder what they would make for the Australian states and territories. Might be something to think up - you seem to have a very fertile imagination! hehe.

Raggedy said...

Hey I am bold now...

Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Pamela said...

I must be thick... I don't get my state motto at all "outfraud your govenor"?????

hmmm.. I wonder what that refers to.

I like your Simon & Garfuncle song this morning. Memories.

Rachel said...

I'm not sure I liked our state motto Peter!! We have more than 15 last names here in KY! :)

LOL at the joke!! Not the ending I was expecting!!

Lee said...

Oh! That's baaaaaaaa-d, Peter!

Walker said...

So that's what the mean by getting a little woolly LOL
And that Clinton, hey is that Monica's dog by any chance ?

Have a good one Peter

Pamela said...

I think I know
2004 gov. race
the republican dino rossi was declared winner by less than 300 votes out nearly 3 million

so there was a recount.
his margin shrunk to a win of 42 votes

The demo candicate C Gregoire raised $750,000 for another recount. The count was going against her increasing Rossi's lead once more.

So the King county Council "discovered" more than 500 "improperly disqualified ballots"...
which put Gregoire in the lead.

Once she had the lead -- she was declared the winner,.

That is what I think the "fraud" reference is about.

Jack K. said...

Kansas, as big as you thnk.

Hilarios joke. The Kiwi could have been a Texan. lol

Jamie Dawn said...

I've lived in five of those states, and I must say, those sayings are right on target!

The photo of Clinton with the Monica dog is terribly funny.

Have a nice week!!

Jim said...

Thanks for the mottos, Peter. I couldn't remember very many of those but Vermont is my fave.
Vermont consists mostly of hippies who didn't grow up. We spent an afternoon in Montpelier and verified that.
The rest are ski bums just waiting for the snow.
Maybe that makes them liberal?

Maria said...

Yep, that Monica sure is the right dog for ol' Bill.

In my opinion, the State Motto's are right on. I loved Michigan's in particular. Heaven knows when Canada might decide to invade.

As to the beach romance. . . well I remain without comment but I have a silly grin on my face. Can't wait to repeat that one to friends.

Margaret said...

All very funny. Cheers Margaret

JunieRose2005 said...


For a moment I thought that dog was that girl...(ahhhh....ms Lawinski??) until I saw Hillary's smiling face!


JunieRose2005 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jules said...

Se hablo ingles solamente en sabados.