"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Truth on the Internet

You can look on the net

But often all that you’ll get

Is a screen full of adverts

From hustlers and perverts

All with something to sell

They keep it up till you yell

I can keep it up by myself

Put Viagra back on the shelf

Just leave me to blog

And I’ll work through this fog

Without sweat or strain

To my ever lively brain

You can keep all your s**t

I have no need of it

Just leave me in peace with my bloggin’



Is this the new Spam?

I can’t help but wonder about the folk at Kmart, (we do have Kmart stores in Australia) they are running a promotion for health and beauty, in conjunction with “M80”, who I’ve never heard of, called “New Day Your Way”.

This NDYW is based on a weight loss program, which lord knows I could use, and anything that could help with my beauty would have to be welcome.

It’s not yet mid-day on a Tuesday morning and I have received my second invitation to join NDYW, I was really starting to get very excited about the prospect of a slimmer, more beautiful me, when I discovered that these good folk believed that Australia was in one of 19 select US markets.

I was suddenly hit by tragic knowledge that because of an accident of birth (not being American) I was fated to spend my days in my overweight and un-beautiful form as it now existed… Sigh, I wonder when this will dawn on dear Nikki who has sent me the tempting emails today.

Some of you, who know me best, will realize that I am writing this post with my tongue wedged firmly in my cheek, others, perhaps like Nikki, may think this new (to me anyway) form of spam is working, I have news for those who fall into this category, it ain’t.

The link below was used to select me for NDYW inclusion, I thank them for the opportunity to once more bring this post to your attention.

http://holtieshouse.blogspot.com/2006/12/week-after-christmas.html.

Spam appears to have come a long way from it’s Viagra promoting days huh?


Extracted from the emails I received.

The New Day Your Way contest is open to those living in 19 select US markets,
with registration taking place 01/07-01/20. 10 finalists will be selected from
each of the 19 markets to participate for the grand prize - $10,000 Cash,
Total Beauty Makeover in NYC, $1,000 Kmart Gift Card, a 3-Year Membership
to Bally's Total Fitness (including 10 personal trainer sessions), and Treadmill.
For more information, or to register for the New Day Your Way contest go to
http://www.kmart.com/newday.
 
Since you are interested in overeaters anonymous I thought that you might
check out the program and then post more information, such as a banner,
some before and after pictures, a video, or a press release on your .
These assets are available at
http://assets.m80im.com/webmasters/kmart_NDYW/ndyw.html
 
For your help or review I’d be happy to offer you a prize pack of exercise
and weight management essentials from Kmart* along with a chance to win
a year membership to Bally’s Total Fitness!

What’s with the html code instead of apostrophes??


Wazza sent me this one (blame him if you don't like it) I should have
used it yesterday with the State motto's.... can't win 'em all !!


The Cow.

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota.

He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.

Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts.

Ole is very surprised.

He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's
current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.

When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?"

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?"

Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."




15 comments:

Pamela said...

That cow has been moving around the states... (:

I need a companion like that - so I can blame it on the cow. (my doggie passed away, may he rest in peace)

Jack K. said...

The cow. LMAO

As for the NDYW invites, forget them. Just cut down on calorie intake and exercise.

It is as simple as that. Send your NDYW application fee directly to me. Hee hee.

Karen said...

I'm so tired of spam constantly littering my inbox/junk mail folder with these thrilling adverts *cough cough* for ways I can increase my manhood. Gosh, if I only had one to enlarge, I'd be set. ;-) Your post had me laughing but I really am sick of spammers - thanks for the laughs.

The cow joke has me in stitches.

Have a great day!

Carolyn said...

LOL Peter! Now everyone knows farting cows are from Nordakota. And farting pigs are from Sowdakota! ;D

Raggedy said...

Uffda!

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Lee said...

ROFL! Love that one! Hahahahaha!

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter
Ive lost count how many Viagra and other emails I Keep getting there very annoying.
Farting cows lol. Take care

Puss-in-Boots said...

Nun farts and now farting cows! Have you and Pea been conspiring?

Cliff Morrow said...

Okay, my wife wanted to know what was so darn funny. I told her. She didn't lean back with a good belly laugh like I did. She's from Colorado.
Having seen several pics of your stately mug, I'd look into the 'beauty' part of the program a bit.

Big Dave T said...

Gee, I've never heard of that K-Mart promotion and they're headquartered right here in Michigan. Lucky you.

That spam is getting to me too. I'm getting about one a day on my blog. I've not instituted any spa-blocking yet (cause I can never get those words right), but I'm getting mighty tempted to.

Rachel said...

Loved the cow joke!! Poor Sven!!!

Christina said...

LOL at Nordakota!

I loved the state mottos, too.

Jim said...

I know a lady from North Dakota. She has been holding out on me? I don't think I will there with that with her.
..
BTW, Yahoo puts over 200 e-mails a day into my Bulk Mail box. I screen them by sender before deleting, I can't remember when the last good one was put in there.
I think it was one I sent to myself.
..

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm still laughing Peter.....cow farts....

Damn Spam....

Suzz said...

Yah, dis here vas a gud wan. Mebe we shud bottle up dem der farts un send dem to de spammers!