"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

From a travelin' man.

Still in traveling mode, some things I didn't see on the trip.

There was plenty of wild life but no cross ducks fortunately.

And thank the lord these are not allowed on the highways, imagine
passing.. or worse... being passed by one of these monster road
trains with four trailers.
BTW I make it 98 tires on the road... if that doesn't flatten you
I don't know what will.

I’m old but….

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet
anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.


Sandy sent me this one, thanks.

The Farmers accident

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking
company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked
the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just
loaded my favourite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer
the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told
the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine.
Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client.
I believe he is a fraud Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and
said to Clyde to please tell him about the mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded.
"Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule,
into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this
huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my
truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie
was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't
want to move.

However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I
knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly
after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to
her . After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he
took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand,
looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the Hell would you say?


Perhaps it's time to stop, while there are sti;ll some folks
who aren't offended.




9 comments:

Raggedy said...

Hahahaha!
Thanks for the chuckles.
Have a great day!

Lee said...

G'day Peter! How is your eye coming along...getting better if not better, I hope. :)

I hear there is a by-pass going on up there...how will it affect where you're living? I saw Mick's pic in the paper. I like Mick and his wife. I've known them for years and years.

I hope the town is doing well.

Jamie Dawn said...

Those cross ducks SURE use bad language!
I'm glad you didn't see any of them on your trip.

Great jokes! Thanks for the laugh.

I like the photos of you with the four hats.
The various cows are neat too!

Pamela said...

I thought it rhymed with Duck.

Kit Wylde said...

I come across a few people who shouldn't have drivers licenses, and not all of them are old! LOL However, my grandfather was 92 when they finally told him he could only drive to the necessary places (like the store, doctor's office, etc) within five miles of his house. That man made 25 mph seem like 125 mph. LOL

Kit

P.S. I found you through Zinnia's page. :)

Jim said...

Hi Peter -- I'm glad you are recovering nicely. It is nice too that you and Warren had such a good trip. He sure is writing it up good.

Happy Birthday to your friends!
Happy Birthday to your friends!
Happy Birthday to your friends!
Happy Birthday to your friends!
..
Oh yes, I'm fine!
..

Jeanette said...

Hi Peter, Hope your eye is healing well.
Dont fancy seeing that road train on the road it was bad enough trying to pass those big road trains in the outback.haha to the duck.

Margaret said...

Very funny duck, that April fools joke was a lu lu. Have they actually started on the by pass that they have been talking abouit forever.
Cheers Margaret

Steve G said...

The joke were funny. I'm fine. Ha