"In the beginning"

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Ladies issues... included for humor only.


Another up-date on the Bloggers Photoraphs




This is the mask worn
by Walker, I have come
to think of him as;
"The Ghost Who Walks"
aka "The Phantom"
Don't ask why.....
Coz it's my blog, will
have to do.















Since publication the
following two photos
have come to light.











My quandary now is;
would it be better if we stayed
with the Mask?

I would appreciate your help
with this, pick a photo for the
next collage please.












There was one other
matter that was left
somewhat unsettled:










This was whether or
not Tom Selleck was
easily mistaken for
our very own.....
Cliff Morrow.


Again I would appreciate some
help in deciding this one too.







Hope they all used sun screen.



Estrogen issues and other lists;

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women.


Pregnancy Q & A.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "divorce" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.



10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"


1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate to your cheese omelet

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your mobile phone to dial up every car sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 0800-".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.

9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND.


10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

BUBBA IN PARIS.

I need to thank Sandy for this one.

Bubba, a furniture dealer from Asheville, North Carolina, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he went to Paris to see what he could find. Once there, he selected a line that he thought would sell well back home and to celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small cafe.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down, and as she did not speak English, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass. She nodded and he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and again she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Bubba has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.




11 comments:

Jim said...

Hi Peter -- I can't help you with picture selection, you are so far ahead of me, I'm not artistic at all.
I just enjoy your results immensely.
I'll be a tennis player for tan lines, though my lines don't quite match hers.
Finally, all men can identify their wives by at least nine of each of your catagories.
This is a great wake-up post, thanks!
..

Rachel said...

Oh my!!! What have you done to Cliff!!! LOL He doesn't look a thing like Tom Selleck!!

As for the guy with the mask I'd go for the wanted poster one!

You are just too funny Peter!!!

Val said...

Re tan lines: bloggers would probably be a good substitute for computer programmers.

kenju said...

Peter, I like the women's issues stuff!

I wanted you to know that my daughter just landed in Sydney. I sure wish I was with her!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Love the tan lines...mine would be the computer bloke.

Women's issues...I can identify with them all...over various times of my life...heheh.

As for Bubba, well, d'oh! See, some men can be blonde, too.

Pamela said...

power surges (thats what you left off in the menopause dealio)

Oh Poor Bubba... I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting her to draw some big dollar signs when the evening was done. Shows you where my mind was.

Cliff Morrow said...

Uncanny I say, uncanny.

Walker said...

Hmmmm
It's close.
Can we get a picture of Cliff in a Ferrari or maybe being chase by two dobermans for a better comparison to Tom Selleck?

LOL The last joke cracked me up.

JunieRose2005 said...

lol-

Well I have to say... Cliff and Tom could be twins!

Junie Rose

Carolyn said...

Yes, Cliff could indeed be a body double for Tom S. BTW, my hubby actually looked like Selleck when we met-- 18 yrs ago, lol!

The "Things only women understand" are true, ya know. Just ask my cat ;)

jules said...

Dammit Peter, I always pictured Walker as a George Clooney look alike. You've spoiled the illusion! Put the mask back on! ~tee hee~