"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Some deep thoughts

I thought I'd better slip back into my more normal format after the foray into
the political scene.

ITALIAN TALK SHOW HOSTESS ...


This is the hostess for an Italian afternoon T.V. talk show...



















And these are two of America's most
popular afternoon T.V. talk show
hostesses...


























To enroll in your nearest language school to learn Italian, call: 800-555-caio

(Who the hell needs to learn Italian, who's gonna listen to what they say?)
Oooops, to myself I meant to say that!!!

Seeing I've already said the wrong thing, let's have a ping at the Kiwi's too.

How to Speak Nuw Zulander.

For Bist Effict, Rid These Out Lowd..

Milburn . . . . . . Capital of Victoria.

Peck . . . . . . . Fill a suit case.

Pissed aside . . . chemical that kills insects.

Pigs -. . . . . . . for hanging out washing with.

Pug - - - - - large pink animal with curly tail.

Nin Tin dough . . . computer game.

Min . . . . . . . .. male of the species.

Mess kara . . . . eye makeup.

McKennock . . . . person who fixes cars.

Lift - - - - -- departed.

Kittle crusps . . . potato crisps.

Leather . . . . . foam produced by soap.

Inner Me . . . . enemy.

Duffy cult . . . . .not easy.

Fush - - - - marine creatures. (best served with Chups)

Bug Hut . . . . . popular song.

Amejen . . . . . visualise.

Veerjun . . . . Mythical New Zealand maiden.

Iggs ecktly . . . .precisely.

Sex . . . . . . . one less than sivven.

Cuttin . . . . baby cat.

Beard . . . . a place to sleep.

Alternative names.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink".

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:

MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.




17 comments:

kenju said...

Peter, you are irrepressible! I love reading the lsit of words and how to pronounce them!

Vickie said...

Peter--Loved how to speak Nuw Zulander. :)

Anonymous Boxer said...

bwahahaah - I love your last paragraph.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Uh... Well I like the Italian talk show hostess. Was there something else in your post??

John

Walker said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!

The last one capped it off.

Pamela said...

I like the translation for New Zealand

Donna said...

What Italian talk show host, all I saw was Oprah.
I read a great joke off the emails last week, it was written in New Zealander and was histerical. Most of your words were in it.
Love
Donna

Puss-in-Boots said...

I'm surprised Pfizer haven't hired you as the publicity guru! That is so clever.

As for your previous post, well said!

Val said...

That Kiwi talk is great. Reminds me of the book my husband had when we met in the U.S. - Let stalk Strine. That gave a pretty good rendition of what Aussies sound like. I hope these English variations don't die out.

Jack K. said...

Seen the photos before.

Liked the definitions. You might want to Serena's site for more twisted linguistics.

Thanks for the heads up (pun intended) on the forecast of my old age. giggle. guffaw. Snerx.

Big Dave T said...

I don't watch shows, though I'm a fan of Judge Judy. Now if Judge Judy only looked like that Italian lady . . .

OldHorsetailSnake said...

That was all very interesting. Denkuberrymudge.

Christina said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hale McKay said...

I loved the Nuw Zulander words - they are not too far off from redneck slang. Is it possible they discovered American and settled in the U.S. south? I see you added Oprah to the TV hostess gag. I agree, who needs to learn Italian?

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ I liked the New Zulland words-- very clever!! Whoever would be able to concentrate if the Italian hostess was interviewing someone?
Take care, Love, Merle.

simo said...

i'm italian and i never seen that show -sigh- because it's not an ITALIAN show. if you see behin the hostess -so difficult i see- you'll notice some spanish words. in fact it's a show of the CHILEAN television, try to goggle. so learn spanish, it's better i think.
simo

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Love the New Zealand translations, Peter ... hahahaha!!
Your last paragraph is a ripper, too ... love it !!
Take care, Meow