Cleaning out the files.

It's time to clean out the files again, this stuff is to good to throw out without sharing.... so here's your share.

Fairy Tale:

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,
Did not whine, nag or bitch........
^

^

^
But this was a long time ago.....
And it was just ONE day.

The End

Divorce Court.

Real Happenings in a Divorce Court !!!

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:

"Judge, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh, he won!

Paddy and the dog next door.

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly Paddy jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this". He goes downstairs. Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?" Paddy says; "I've put the dog in our yard. Fookin' see how THEY like it!”

Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change
a light bulb?

Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one
else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't
even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in
the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able
to find the light bulbs despite the fact that

they've been in the SAME CABINET for the
past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by
some miracle of God, actually
find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the
chair they dragged to stand on
to change the STUPID light bulb
would STILL BE IN THE
SAME SPOT!!!!! AND

UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE
WRAPPER THE
FREAKING LIGHT
BULB CAME IN!!!
BECAUSE NO ONE
EVER PICKS UP OR
CARRIES OUT THE
GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A
WONDER WE
HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED

FROM THE
PILES OF
GARBAGE
THAT ARE A
FOOT DEEP

THROUGHOUT
THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT
WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS
PLACE! AND DON'T
EVEN GET
ME

STARTED
ON WHO CHANGES

THE

TOILET PAPER ROLL!!

^

^

I'm sorry. What was the question?

We are in the dying stages (Thank the Lord) of an election campaign here in
Australia, it seems very likely we will have a change of government, after
eleven years in power John Howard's attitude is summed up pretty well by
this photograph.