"In the beginning"

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The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Aussie and proud of it.


UPDATE. There are some descriptions (in red) below for those who wondered what we meant!!




Until fairly recent times this illustration would have been pretty accurate in describing a typical Aussie, however over the last 30/40 years there have been many changes to what we would call typical, to a large degree we seem to have lost touch with the "bush" where most of our traditions originated.
We are now city dwellers, in fact almost half of Australia's population now live in Sydney or Melbourne, rural communities have got smaller and our wealth has gone away from the farm produce and into mineral exports, (Coal, Iron Ore, Bauxite to name the 3 biggies).
During the early 1960s our population reached 10 million which means it has doubled in a little over 40 years, a large slice of this growth has been due to immigration, with all the new cultures has come a watering down of what made us Australian and I must admit to being a bit saddened by this.
The local Pub is now likely to be a Tavern with a Bistro, and you seldom hear "Mate" unless you are listening to sportsmen talk, no doubt to an outsider we still sound Aussie but to us old timers things have changed a lot.... not always for the good!!!

Be Proud to Be An Aussie Mate


Some 'obscure' things Aussies will smile about.
Here are 42 top ways to tell if you're a local....

You know you're Australian if ...


1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

1 a. In our national anthem there's a line; "our home is girt by sea" (surrounded)


2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

2a; Stubbies are a brand of work shorts and also a small bottle


3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.


4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.


5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.


6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

6a; A rubber in this instance is an eraser.


7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

7a; Root is one of the many slang terms used for the sex act.


8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

8a; Flip flops are called thongs here.


9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".


10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".


11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.


12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

12a; (Darryl and Sharon played AC/DC on the way to McDonalds)


13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.


14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".


15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.


16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.


17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.


18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".


19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

19a; A sarcastic description of our breakfast spread, Vegemite.


20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.


21. Hamburger…. Beetroot…. Of course.


22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.


23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.


24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".


25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.


26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.


27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

27a; No, I don't want to be called Pet !!!


28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.


29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.


30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.


31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".


32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.


33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.


34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

34a; We call them biscuits not cookies.


35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

35a; Kylie Minouge, made her start in a soap called Neighbours.


36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.


37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

37a; Track suit pants.


38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.


39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.


40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.


41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.


42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says ‘cobber’ any more.







10 comments:

kenju said...

That's a pretty good Aussie education, Peter. Thanks for the info!

Hale McKay said...

Interesting list, Peter. Hmmm .. about shortening names, don't expect me to call you 'Pet."

Puss-in-Boots said...

I think our local vernacular is decidedly colourful and totally unlike anywhere else in the world. From tracky daks to budgie smugglers (literally)...what a delightful phrase, until one has to explain exactly what it means...smirk.

Good and very local post, Peter.

Dave said...

Ok, but now are you going to interpret what all that means to us? *LOL*

Joy Des Jardins said...

That's a lot more about Aussies than I knew before...thanks Peter. Hope you're doing fine sweet guy....have a wonderful weekend coming up.... Hugs, Joy

karisma said...

LOL! Glad to see you are back! I missed you!

Jeanette said...

Gday Peter, Thank you for the Birthday wishes.
Mate,Great list add
The big pineapple but then we can go on forever with big things,I like Robyns how do you explain tracky daks to budgie smugglers HEHEHE.Throw another snag on the barbie.Take care Haveagoodweekend.....

Marti said...

So happy to see you're still here! Loved the list - I learned so much!

Best wishes to you, my friend!

Walker said...

It's the same here.
Times have manipulated our words.
There was once a time when we went into the buch in search of beaver and now we just go to the pub looking for it

Pamela said...

My parents called erasures "rubbers", too.
I am unable to get over saying "thongs" for those flip flops.

And since my feet have arch problems I say without thinking -- "I just can't wear thongs anymore" and people look at me like I'm an old fart.