This story qualifies for a place in my Australian blog on several levels; (a) its about me and I’m Australian. (b) at least one of the participants (me) is Australian. (c) it’s a funny story and we could all do with a smile in this mad world of today.
The phone rings… its at a mealtime.
Cheerful lady caller.. hello, I’m ringing to let you know that you are a winner of a Woolworths everydayrewards prize,
Me.. thanks very much.
Cheerful lady caller.. please stay on the line, one of our real representatives will talk to you very soon….. fades to music.
Me to myself.. wow she sounded nice and she wasn’t even a real person… I only signed up for the Woolworths everydayrewards thing yesterday I wonder if they reward all new members with a box of Cornflakes or something?
New voice with a decidedly sing-song Indian flavour.. hello, I am ringing to tell you that you have won a prize of 2 weeks holiday in M*&^%$# City.
Me… pardon me, where did you say the holiday was?
New voice with a decidedly sing-song Indian flavour… its for 2 weeks in Mexico City, with all expenses paid, you will fly to America with overnight stops at New York and Los Angles before arrival at Mexico City.
Me… sounds too good to be true, what’s the catch?
New voice with decidedly sing-song Indian flavour… there is no catch….
Sound of buzzing that you hear when there is no-one on the line.
Me… WTF??? Was I supposed to just say thank you and hand over my bank account number so they could transfer the funds in…. or OUT??? the wording used here is based on my memory of the call and may not be EXACTLY what was said... please don't sue me for misquoting you Mr new voice with decidedly sing-song Indian flavoured man.
I get on average about 5 emails a week telling me that I have won an email based lottery for $5 million US dollars, (that US dollars has regained some importance now that the Au$ has slipped way back… thanks a lot US Prime Lenders) or they are from the widow or daughter of a recently departed official who has secreted away $16 US, and they all want me to claim it for them in some complex manner, for this service they offer me 30% as a fee. (now the bastards have got my phone number too!!)
I’m retired and independently wealthy (ha, ha, just checking to see if you were paying attention) so I pass on all of these deals, so far I think I have forsaken $230 million US, so if you would like me to give them your email address please let me know and I’ll pass it on to my benefactors.
All this has highlighted my need to stay alive at the moment, the value of my estate for my children, (a share market portfolio) has effectively halved over the last few months, thus far the losses are paper losses only as I have not needed to sell any shares, but if I “cark” it now and the kids sell up, their inheritance is looking decidedly dodgy, now the latest news has a warning that property values have fallen by about 20% and there is likely to be more bad news in the future, so even my lovely “Queenslander” isn’t immune to the worlds problems.
All this despite the worlds efforts to fix the economical crisis that we find ourselves in… my contribution is to stay alive and weather out the storm, all for the sake of my children!!!