"In the beginning"


The views expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of the blog management, (on the other hand, they are not necessarily not the views of the blog management).

No effort has been made to stay within the bounds of the truth in this blog as it has always been the view of the management that the truth should never be allowed to stand in the way of a good story.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Quotable Quotes

"Be Buggered If I Can See
Any Resemblance. ."

Some quotes that are quotable.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.

- George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante


I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine


My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield


Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan


Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.

- Joe Namath


I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

- W. C. Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal


And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

We are in the middle of a real heat wave at the moment, it was 45.7 degrees c, today,
That's 114 degrees f , (in our old scale and for those parts of the world that aren't
metricated yet.)
The forecast is for 3 more days over 40 degrees, then another 4 days in the HIGH
30's (100 degrees f, the only good thing I can say about that is that its a dry heat
very little humidity here in SA.
Oh for a wintry day!!!!!!!


Junebug said...

Your quotes had me laughing. We are having wintry days here. It was only 6 degrees Fahrenheit last night. Oh for a summer day! Ha ha.

Jack K. said...

Loved your quotes. I read some of them before, but they are still hilarious.

Sorry about your heat wave. We are having very cold weather here right now.

karisma said...

I have been thinking of you in this heat. Its been hot here too but we only got one day over 40 and that was bad enough! (I even closed the house and had the air con on, which I don't like. Much prefer fresh air) We have been in the high 30's most of the time, staying indoors till the afternoon then hanging out at the beach until it cools a bit. Its supposed to be hotter again today so I think I will bury my head in the sand! Keep out of the sun! Hope you are well otherwise. Hugs xxxx

kenju said...

Love the quotes, especially the Jimmy Durante one! Mr. kenju would say that's ME!

Hale McKay said...

Not that I particularly relish temps in the 100f end of the thermometer, I would be willing to swap a couple of 30 below zero nights for at least one of those 100 degree days.

I love those celebrity quotes.

Great 'header' photo!

Merle said...

Hi Peter ~~ good quotes and I have been thinking of you and Vicki in that heat. It usually comes over to us I'm afraid. At least, so far, no terrible fires, just small ones.
Take care, Love, Merle.

Dave said...

One of the 4 biggest lies of all time:
But, it's a dry heat...!

Pamela said...

we had dry cold and wet cold. And believe me, wet cold is much c-c--c-c-c-older.

Love all the quotes.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Some of those quotes are new to me...but I love them all, anyway. Our temps are fairly static here, in the low 30s. Most pleasant normally but it is hellishly humid. You know, typical sultry Qld weather.

That's a dreadful fire in Gippsland at the moment. Hope friends and family (both yours and mine) are safe.

Cliff said...

Great quotes Peter.
Ho lee cow, 114 degrees. That would do me in. The vultures would be circling, dry heat or no.

Great pics too from the concert.

Carolyn said...

Love those quotables Peter! Very funny ;D

Wish I had me a winter home in Austalia.

Christina said...

I am going to Colorado for a week where temps will be below freezing, so I will think about you and your 100 degree days!

I enjoyed the quotes.

Walker said...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give us some global warming.
We'll pay for it.
HELL they are giving away free money in the states