As many of you will know I have been a lover of poetry for many years and as it is a long time since I have either written or posted any this seems a good time to rectify at least the posting part of this.
Poetry Competition in Heaven
This is an annual event held in Heaven to decide the poet laureate to God for the coming year, finalists this year are, a modern day poet, William Wordsworth, and William Shakespeare.
Their subject was to write a short poem about a bow-legged man walking down the road.
First came this from the modern day poet;
Along the track
Came bandy Jack.
Hmmmm short but to the point.
William Wordsworth stepped forward and quoted;
Along the long and winding road
There strode a man who’s legs were bowed.
Now that’s better, a bit of substance to it.
William Shakespeare stepped up next and he quoted;
Gadzooks what manner of man is this?
Who has his balls in parenthesis
I think we have a winner!!!
for those who don't read the comments,
WT has added this one;
to blow his knees so far apart.
And JackK this one;
The one that made his legs so bowed.
Australian Poetry Competition.
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists, a university graduate and an old aboriginal.
They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '
First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped up to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought..
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu
The aboriginal won. (put that in your "only in Australia" file.
This last one I’m thinking about having as part of my funeral service….. straight after the free ice-cream part I reckon.
I dreamed of heaven the other night,
And heavens gates swung open wide.
A kindly angel ushered me inside.
And there to my surprise
Stood lots of folk I’d known on earth.
Some I’d known and in my eyes
Were ‘unfit’ and ‘little worth’
Indignant words flashed before my eyes
But never were set free,
For every face showed stunned surprise
No-one expected me!