Holties House: Merry Christmas

Random Thoughts

* It's a damn small mind that can only think of one way to spell a word ! ~ Andrew Jackson.

* Take my advice, I'm not using it !

* Support bacteria; It's the only culture some people have.

* Wrinkles don't hurt !

* Too soon we get old; Too late we get smart.

* If you have a dog you don't need to bark.

* Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Albert Einstein.

* Forget the health foods, I need all the preservatives I can get.

* Depressed women eat or go shopping...Depressed men invade another country.

* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

· What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

* Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease.

* "I am not young enough to know everything." ~Oscar Wilde.

* A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent. ~Jerome Lawrence.

* "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

* "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

* As the Buddha says, "There are two ways to have enough. One is to buy more. The other is to desire less."

* "Red meat isn't bad for you... that green fuzzy stuff is."

* Forehead.... Somewhere to rest your hand when you're frustrated.

* The seventh commandment is thou shall not admit adultery.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called Monotony.

* "If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherder every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side." Orson Scott Card.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

*The last thing I want to do is hurt you... But its still
on my list !

*Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit... Wisdom
is not putting it in a fruit salad !

* Don't argue with an idiot... He'll drag you down to
his level then beat you with experience.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier
than puttin' it back in.

Holties House

"In the beginning"

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas

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